Sunday, January 31, 2010

Day 68 - Weigh-in week #10 and Taking it slow

Friday, January 29, 2010

So today was a weigh-in day!  AND, I was coming off of feeling like complete crap so I wasn't sure what the heck I would find on the scale.  I had been away from any workout for 2 days.  This was not a great thing.  Plus, the last weigh-in had happened on last Saturday giving me only 6 days to lose instead of 7.  But, on to the scale I went.

I LOST 1.8 lbs!!!  WOOO HOOO!!!!!

That was a great way to start the day.  Let me tell you!

To date I have now lost 8.6 lbs!

I really hope this continues!  I am really trying to keep this thing going.  I love the changes and how much stronger I am and how much stronger I feel!

Today I really took it easy and didn't do too much.  I worked out for a short amount of time and got a little nauseated while doing it.  I guess I need to be careful I don't relapse.  It's just so hard when I see such a great number on the scale!  It makes me want to kick it into high gear.

I know, I gotta listen to my body.

Jon and I have a HUGE to-do list we are trying to get to this weekend.  I hope we can tackle most of it tomorrow so we have a quieter Sunday.

I'm bummed because I don't film this weekend like it had originally been planned.  Locations had to be revamped and that, of course, revamped the schedule.

Oh well.  I'm on next weekend so I have to stay healthy.

Yay for good scale days!

Today's Goal: Take it easy = moderate Success (I did work out but kept it light and easy...)

Tomorrow's Goal: try to do full cardio and light abs if I can

Calories Consumed: 1098

           3 minutes warm up
           30 minutes jog/run
          (1 - 10 minute sprint)
            5 minute cool-down

Day 67 - Thwarted and Thwarted

Thursday, January 28, 2010

So today everything I had planned got thwarted.

My day was planned like this:

1. get up and workout
2. shower
3. pick up mom
4. go to my boob-squish (mammogram)
5. put on deodorant (you can't wear it until after you get your test)
6. work with mom on wedding stuff
7. meet up with Lisa to sort stuff out
8. come home and have dinner with Jon
9. get a good night's sleep

Here is how my day went:

1. got a HORRIBLE night's sleep
2. freeze and feel achy
3. wake up at 6am realizing I feel like crap
4. put on extra socks because I'm so cold
5. wake up at 6:05am realizing I really feel like crap
6. decide at 6:15am to finally bite the bullet and check the thermometer
7. coming to terms with the fact that I had a fever of 100.3 (this is actually high-ish for me since my normal body temp is 97.5-ish usually)
8. decide I have to cancel everything today and just sleep
9. call and reschedule boob-squish, Mom, and Lisa
10. Sleep on and off and finally break my fever

I began to feel better as the day wore on when my fever finally broke.  I have no idea why I had the fever or where it came from but I felt awful all night long.

So no workout for me today.  Guess that's a two-in-a-row for not working out.  Not my favorite trend but I'll deal with it.

There's always tomorrow...

Today's Goal: Get back to the routine = FAIL (yeah, fever thwarted that.  Stupid fever)

Tomorrow's Goal: Take it easy and don't push myself

Calories Consumed: 892

Workout = NONE

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Day 66 - Run-down and Voiceover Promotion

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

So today I felt like crap.  I felt run-down and just ick.  I tried to get motivated to get up and get going and I just didn't have it in me.

Guess I am taking today as a recovery day.  I hate when my body tells me when it needs stuff.  I mean, I'm glad it does, but I wish it and my mind would be on the same schedule.

Anyhow, it wasn't too much of an issue since I had a real goal in mind: Send out round 1 of my voiceover promotion postcards.

It's such a crazy/different type of promoting.  The marketing on this side of the business is nothing like the other side.

I know once I get into it and get my groove it will get easier.  It just feels like craziness while I'm trying to get it done the first time.  The learning curve is HUGE.  I just have to accept that I don't "get" it yet and know the next time or the next next time will come easier.

I did complete it, though, so I know that it was important to get on that train and see it through this week.

Now.  Most importantly, I need to realize that it is just as important for me to schedule time to work on THIS as it is to work on my business with my sister-in-law, Carrie, as it is to schedule time to meet with my  mom to plan/work on the wedding.  Whew!  I am surprised there are enough hours in the day/in the week to get everything done!!

That's always been my issue.  I never feel like I'm getting enough done.

I look at my apartment and sigh dreadfully that there is SO MUCH I could do to make it more habitable and feel less cluttered and organized and BLECH.  I feel overwhelmed by everything we have to do every single day/week: Dishes, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the mammal's cages, dusting, changing the sheets, grocery shopping, etc, etc, etc.  It all becomes WAY too much after a while.  When does one get to take a break?  And will I ever get a break where I feel like I'm done?  Where everything really is in its place?

I might have to start triaging my life like I triaged my career.  I decided to focus on film and voiceover for the moment.  I'm not auditioning for live theatre, (although I've recently been handed two separate opportunities that I'm, of course, not turning down), and I'm really making sure my focus has my attention.  I think I need to do that in my apartment.  I need to tackle one project at a time and just realize that it's got to be completed before I'm allowed to tackle the next one.

For example:  My photos.  Oy vey!  I have so many and I want to scan them so I don't risk ever losing them.  BUT, I also have to go through them.  I have two boxes (bigger than shoe boxes) FULL of photos as well as many photo albums.  This project will take quite a while to get through.

Then there are the cross-stitching projects I've started and never completed.  They live in my closet and I miss working on them.  I love to cross-stitch.
Same thing with knitting.  I have a 1/2 completed  project I'm trying to finish for my best friend.  UGH.

Ok. I guess I need to write a real list of all the projects I plan/need to complete in order to really get a clue as to which to tackle and when.

This could take years. :)  Sigh.  But if I really give myself a goal to work on these things, maybe I can actually get them done.  I'd be happy giving myself an hour a week as long as I'm DOING something. Even if they take a long time, it's better than not working on them at all.  At least I can say I'm making SOME progress, right?

First up:  My best friend's gift. I was hoping to complete it by her birthday which was in January. If I can complete that by MY birthday (it's the taint of March...March 16th. --- taint the Ides, taint St. Patrick's Day--) then I can send her a holiday/birthday gift on my birthday and that would be sort of like getting it on-time. ;)

Ok.  Going to bed and going to wake up strong.

Today's Goal: Postcards. No excuses. = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Get back to the routine

Calories Consumed: 913

Workout - NONE

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 65 - Coffee date and Keeping my heart open

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

So today I had a rather busy day.  I ran up to the suburbs to see my sister-in-law and work on our new business together.  (I'll update more on this when we are fully up and running.  Right now I'm slightly tight-lipped until we fully launch).

We had a really great conversation about money and children.  It's so nice how much closer she and I are getting.  She is the one person who lives the closest who is in my wedding party!  I fear she will have the burden on her for lots of work!  Poor Carrie! ;)

After that meeting, I headed back into the city to meet my dear friend Bethany for coffee.  We have been trying to hook up once a month to reconnect when possible.  There's this one Starbuck's near where she works so we tend to meet up there and just talk and catch up.  It's really nice to see her.

On my way, I got a phone call from Grant, the lead in the Fall Away film I'm in.  We had a great conversation where I gave him some advice about "keeping your heart open and ready".  It's something I usually believe strongly in, but sometimes have a hard time putting into practice.  The whole "live as if" attitude is sometimes really hard, but necessary.  In his case, he has a case of the lonely-hearted.  He wants a relationship.  I told him as long as he is keeping his heart open and his life available for that he will find it. I really hope that's true.  He deserves happiness.  He's such a special person!

I got home just in time for The Biggest Loser!  I did my workout watching it and Jon made dinner.  Epic Success!


All in all, a good day.  Lisa and I are meeting on Thursday evening.  Interestingly enough, I'm feeling less stressed about it.  I feel like we just got caught up in whatever and just need a reconnection.  I'm hoping I'm right.  I really miss her and just want to spend some time hanging out with her.  I hope she feels the same way.

Today's Goal: Workout during The Biggest Loser = SUCCESS

Tomorrow's Goal: Postcards. No excuses.

Calories Consumed: 927

              3 minutes warm-up
             45 minutes jog/run
             (1 - 10 minute sprint; 1 - 5 minute sprint)

        Strength Training:
             25 push ups
             50 back rows (using resistance bands)
             50 pulsed back rows (using resistance bands)
             50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
             50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Day 64 - Pants in the closet and The Defiled screening

Monday, January 25, 2010

So today is the sneak peek screening for the film The Defiled!!!  I played a very small role in this feature/horror/awesome film!

I'm very excited to see the full film on-screen!  We are seeing it in a real screening room at Columbia College in Chicago.  My parents, Jon and I will be having dinner at my folks house and then heading over to the college.

I wasn't sure what I was going to wear.  I had some ideas (I wanted to dress up a bit), but nothing was set in stone.  I was a TOTAL GIRL.  I tried everything on in my closet.  Nothing was working.

The one wonderful thing about losing weight and changing how your body looks is everything gets big on you and you feel great in smaller sizes.  The one frustrating thing about losing weight is that everything is big on you that you have IN YOUR CLOSET and then you have to go out and get more clothes.

Deep in the back of my closet I have a pair of pants.

I bought these pants and the sweater at H&M circa 2002.

I never wore the pants.  By the time I had a reason to wear them I'd gained about 5 pounds and they didn't fit well anymore.

So they went into the back of the closet with the tags on.

I've gotten rid of a LOT of clothes ranging in sizes for the last few years.  For some reason, there were a few things I just wouldn't part with.

These pants were one of those items.  I was just SURE I would get in them again and be able to really wear them to something.

I'm proud to say...TODAY WAS THAT DAY!

I should have gotten a picture of me in them.  But regardless, I really enjoyed that amazing feeling of zipping them up and having them FIT!

Mom made dinner and we ran off to watch me get mutilated!

The screening was a BLAST!  I had such an amazing time!  There's nothing cooler than seeing your face on a movie screen.  Seriously.  It was awesome!

Onwards and upwards!  I'm hoping we'll have as awesome a screening of Fall Away when it's finally complete!

Check out the poster for The Defiled! My name's on it!!!!!

Today's Goal: Be careful at Mom's for dinner = SUCCESS

Tomorrow's Goal: workout during The Biggest Loser 9

Calories Consumed: 1100

             3 minutes warm up
             30 minutes jog/run
            (1 - 5 minute sprint)
             8 minutes cool down/stretch

      Strength Training:
             30 push ups
             1 Pilates 100
            50 bicycle
            50 reverse crunches
            50 regular crunches

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day 63 - Grey's Anatomy and Proud of me

Sunday, January 24, 2010

So today I dove back into the workout with a vengeance.

Normally, when Jon is home and I'm working out, we throw West Wing on.  I love having TV shows on DVD because they are the perfect time to do a cardio workout!  42ish minutes.

Today, though, Jon was sleeping a bit late (he's allowed), so I decided to pop in my newest TV show, Grey's Anatomy.

Ok.  I resisted watching this show.  FULLY resisted.  It sounded kinda dumb, no offense.  But, honestly, I've truly fallen for it.  It's funny and fun and it gets me through my cardio.
*I'm only on episode 4 season 1 so please, no spoilers! ;)

Other than that, Jon and I went to go see my friend and former teacher, Scott's, show at Act One.  He directed a one-act by Horton Foote called Laura Dennis.  It was performed by the first year students (it's a 2 year conservatory).  They are half-way through their first year.  I thought they did a very nice job, considering.  There is some real talent there.  Others have some work to do, but they are really on the right track.  It's lovely to see that. :)

Food shopping and dinner rounded out the night.  We were tired but not sleepy.

I am still feeling a bit stressed and sad about my communication problems with Lisa.  I hope we get a chance to see each other and resolve this.  She's one of my best friends and one of my maids of honor for my wedding.  It would be a shame if this causes us any more grief.  However, I realize I am seeing things differently than I used to.  I'm happy about my life changes, but I do realize that often it's weird for people who have known me for a while, (especially through the really bad times) to see a change in me.  I mean, I am not only changing from the outside, I'm changing on the inside.  Cheesy-sounding, I know, but I'm really happy with who I'm becoming.  And I'm really proud.

When I was at Act One, I realized how frustrated I was all the time.  I was sad and angry and anxious.  I was never content with myself.  I thought the world was against me and I had limited time to reach my goals or I would be a failure.  I saw myself as the one with the most experience and the oldest and it scared me how shameful I felt being back in school.  I thought there was something wrong with me.

I don't feel that way anymore.  I made some big decisions upon leaving school and it's never too late to change your life, I feel.  So, here I am.  I'm changing it.  And I feel great about my choices.  It's always a journey and a process.

Today's Goal: Back on the workout track!

Tomorrow's Goal: be careful eating at Mom's for dinner

Calories Consumed: 1090

           42 minutes
          (1 - 10 minute sprint; 5- 1 minute skaters)
           8 minutes cool-down/stretch

      Strength Training:
           30 push-ups
           50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
           50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
           50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
           50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
           50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 62 - Weigh-in week #9 and Adventures

Saturday, January 23, 2010

So today Jon and I took a drive out to Wisconsin!  Our plan was to go to my dear friend, Debbie's, baby shower and then head over to see one of my best friends, Lisa, who lives in Kenosha.

Debbie lives in Neenah, Wisconsin which is about 3.5 hours one way from Chicago.  We had the whole day planned.

Get up and get out by 9:00AM.

Get to Debbie's by 1:30PM (when the shower starts)

Hang there for awhile (I haven't seen her much and definitely not since she's gotten pregnant)

Then head back towards Kenosha and see Lisa, her family, and her boyfriend Ryan at the bowling alley.

The day started great.  We were a little late (about 20 minutes) but nothing awful.  Debbie was thrilled to see us.  Then when everyone started to get going we decided to hang out for a while.

We planned to chat with them and then head out to see Lisa who just told us to let her know when we were in the 'hood.

We sort of cut our conversation short to ensure we'd make it to Kenosha at a decent hour when we texted her.  Unfortunately we weren't able to make that meeting happen.  For reasons I don't quite understand...

Why am I mentioning all this?

Well, I wanted to say that I handled something that was really upsetting in a different way than my normal way.

I used to get upset and then stuff down my emotional response to it.  Usually I felt like I looked weak or too vulnerable to visibly show I am hurt by something.  Easier to get angry about it, right?

While driving, I made it a point to take a breath and realize, and verbalize that I am very sad about this situation.  I really was disappointed and I really wanted to see my friend and I was hurt that it was not able to happen.

I expressed those sad feelings.  I did, also, express my angry and frustrated feelings.  But the fact that I acknowledged my hurt ones is a big step for me.

I'm proud of that.

Maybe this over-haul on me is working...

I realized this morning that I completely forgot to do a weigh-in yesterday!  All the filming excitement got to me!

So!  Here are the results:  Back down those 4 ounces I gained!  YAY!

Weight-loss to date: 6.8 lbs!  Yay!

Today's Goal: be careful with my choices at the shower!  And if we get drinks with Lisa = SUCCESS! (I did have a bite of the awesome cake but it was totally budgeted in the calories. And, well, we never even saw Lisa to have drinks...)

Tomorrow's Goal: Back on the workout track!

Calories Consumed: 1053

Workout: NONE = recovery

Day 61 - Filming and Futurama references

Friday, January 22, 2010

So today I had to get myself ready for filming.  I am so excited to get back on set!  I absolutely love that this is the work I am getting to do now.  I love the film I love the crew I love the director I love the cast!

I. Love. It. All.

So, I wanted to make sure I was worked out before our 12 hour filming.

So there I was.  Ready to workout.  And I just didn't want to do it.

Now, of course, I really don't like working out, anyway.  (Who does, usually?)

So I took a moment to analyze and figure out what it was about this workout that was bothering me.

Was it that I didn't want to work out because I was too tired?  No.

Was it that I felt sore?  No.

Was I just "not feeling it"?  No.

I actually wanted to workout, but I just didn't want to do my regular routine.

As Jon and I often like to quote (and misquote) Futurama I realized what the problem was.

This workout was "boring me, Zoidberg"

Ok!  This is fixable.  I have a plethora of other workout videos and things to do to alleviate the boredom.

So today I opted to do a total body workout which included cardio, resistance bands, abs, yoga, etc in less than 48 minutes!  Yay me.

Why don't I do these all the time?  Aha!  Well, I get bored with them too, Zoidberg.

But it was a nice change from the regular routine.

Also, I'd like to add that in the past I've done this workout and never felt as strong as I do now doing it.  I often had to bow out of a rep or two or even an exercise when it would get too difficult.  It was incredibly cool to be able to do the entire work out and feel good!

I'm sure I'll be revisiting that one again!  :)

Filming?  Oh filming was amazing!  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

I got wrapped at 3:30AM.  Gotta get up at 8:00AM to head to Wisconsin (3.5 hours one way) to visit my dear friend from high school, Debbie, for her baby shower!!!  Cannot wait to see her!  Then, I get to hang with one of my best friends, Lisa, who moved back home to Kenosha, Wisconsin after that!  So excited to see them!  It's been too long in both cases.  I'm missing my ladies!

Today's Goal: Do a total body workout (weights and/or abs with cardio) = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: be careful with my choices at the shower!  And if we get drinks with Lisa

Calories Consumed: 1054

      Slim in 6 - Ramp it up - less than 48 minutes

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day 60 - Sloth and Kicking My Own Ass

Thursday, January 21, 2010

So today I had a realization.

I need alone time.  And I need time where I don't feel "under the gun", so to speak.

When I schedule a recovery day I really need to remember that it can include doing nothing.

I suck at doing nothing.

I suck hard at it.

I grew up believing the only way to succeed was always be working towards the goal.  I never stopped to enjoy or even reflect on the journey.

I still struggle with this.

I've often over-scheduled myself and believed I could make up time later.  Yeah, well, sometimes I need those "lazier" days in order to recharge and move on tomorrow with even more commitment and determination.  Sometimes I just want to lie in bed and not have to strategize/think/plan/decide anything. Sometimes I just want to be alone and read a book or watch Law & Order and not feel bad about it.

Sometimes I do this.

Usually I feel guilty.

Often I protest that I have every right to enjoy myself, yet I never do.

Today is no exception.

All day I tried to just talk myself into letting this be a "sloth" day.  I'd use it as a recovery day even though I knew full-well that Saturday made more sense as a recovery day since I'd probably be traveling and in my car most of the day after coming off of a long filming.

But my body just wanted it and, reluctantly, I gave in.

I laid in bed most of the day and just tried to enjoy the fact that I was taking "me" time.

It worked...sort of.  But since I felt like I'd been slacking off on some of my more intense workouts this week, it never really stuck with me, fully.

Jon and I had waited until we both had some time to watch Tuesday's episode of The Biggest Loser.

Jon returned from a meeting and I was all set to watch it with him, at 10:30PM when I realized I felt like a huge hypocrite!

Here I had spent the entire day laying around and I was about to spend ANOTHER 2 hours watching a TV show?  With no exercise?
So, I busted out the exercise clothes and hopped to it watching The Biggest Loser.  It's really motivating and fun to workout while THEY workout.

I got a GREAT cardio workout in and still got to enjoy one of my favorite inspirational shows. :)  Win/Win!

Today's Goal: 60 oz of water = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Do a total body workout (weights and/or abs with cardio)

Calories Consumed: 1042

           3 minutes warm up
           42 minutes jog/run
           (1 - 15 minute sprint!)
           8 minutes cool down/stretch

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Day 59 - Family and Fighting fatigue

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

So today I went to hang out with my sister-in-law Carrie.  She's pretty amazing.  I don't know how she runs the household with 4 boys AND my brother.

I love my brother.  He and I did not get along when we were growing up.  We had completely different interests but as adults we definitely respect each other's accomplishments.

But, this is the first time I've heard my brother tell me how "floored" he was by my talent.

I can't begin to tell you how much that meant to me.  Carrie and I were talking about the film and about the voiceover demos.  She hadn't heard them yet.

I pulled up the website: and she heard the 2 demos.  She was so complimentary!  Then I showed her the photos from the film (Becky I'm totally going to add some photos on here.  I'm just waiting for a day when I have more than a few minutes to really pull some good ones out!)

When I got home and worked out, I got a call from my brother.  This is not usual.  We don't talk on the phone or even text.  But we just know the other has our back, you know?  Anyway, getting a call from him to just tell me how impressed he was and how much he really wants me to succeed just made my entire day!

I was on cloud nine!  :)  Yay for family and for brothers and for sister-in-laws!  Happy!

As far as food and working out, I feel like I did alright today.  Could have done better with strength training but I'm not altogether unhappy with the progress.

I feel as though I'm really fighting fatigue.  I can't seem to get a decent amount of sleep.  I blame the mattress and pillows and everything, but I really wonder if it's something else within me that's just not letting me rest properly.

I'm always stressed about money and work and whatnot, but I really wonder if changing my life is now bringing up crap I didn't realize wasn't worked out.  Or something.

Lots to think about.

Today's Goal: Get some work done with Carrie (my sister-in-law) and get 40 min. cardio = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: 60 oz of water, baby!

Calories Consumed: 1048

           3 minutes warm-up
           42 minutes jog/run
          (1 - 10 minute sprint; 3 -1 minute skaters)
            8 minutes cool down/ stretch

     Strength Training:
           60 push ups
           50 regular crunches
           50 reverse crunches
           50 oblique crunches (each side)

Day 58 - Celebration and appreciation

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

So today is my oldest friend, Kathleen's, birthday.  I've known K since I was 9 years old.  We went to a performing arts camp together at the park district and became fast friends.  We then ended up performing in a group called "Traveling Troupe" which performed all over Chicago.  The ages of the performers were 12 - 14.  THEN, we both ended up at Interlochen Arts Academy for high school.

It feels like we've known each other forever.  :)  I'm grateful for that friendship.

She is having a small gathering of people at The Cheesecake Factory this evening.  We are all headed out to celebrate her birthday.

I'm very excited to see her.  She lives in New York but often travels all over for work.  She's a dancer/actress/singer and often gets shows in Florida and Vegas.  She's a busy girl!

My biggest challenge:  making sure I watch my portions and not feeling guilty about the drink(s) I consume.

Cheesecake does offer a fantastic herb-crusted salmon with a huge salad.  I believe I will definitely get that and put the dressing on the side.  Then I'll for sure have leftovers to take home.

I did my workout earlier today.  I had a tough time with cardio.  I just couldn't get my body working. But I got something in, and that's what counts.

Today's Goal: Get that water in = SUCCESS/FAIL (I think I got in about 60 oz but counteracted it with the alcohol...)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get some work done with Carrie (my sister-in-law) and get 40 min. cardio

Calories Consumed: 1132

              3 minutes warm-up
              30 minutes jog/run
             (1 - 5 minute sprint)
              8 minutes cool-down/stretch

        Strength Training:
              50 push ups
             100 regular crunches
             100 reverse crunches
             100 oblique crunches (both sides)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 57 - set-sick and determined

Monday, January 18, 2010

So today I had a shorter day on the set.  I started around 10:00 AM and was released around 3:00 PM.  It was a fun day.  However, upon getting released from the set I got depressed.

I really feel like when I walk on to the set I'm actually "home".  It's such a comforting feeling to be there.  I'm happy and content and don't feel like I'm "working" in any way.  Even though we keep ridiculous hours and I often need an amazing amount of sleep to counteract the time/energy it takes, I'd do it over and over again just to be a part of this incredible experience.

I love this work.  I love that this is my job.  I love saying that I'm a working actor and having something really impressive to show for it.

So leaving I feel "set-sick".  I'm homesick for the work, the people, the art.

To deal with that, I'm back trying to be on-track with my workouts and eating.

Of all the amazing things about being on set, I notice that I drink less water and am not as careful about noting every single calorie I put in my mouth.  While I'm not being an idiot about choices, I'm still grazing more than I'm writing.  It's tough when you are grabbing a quick bite between shots. It's the nature of the game.

But I'm least for a few days.  Hopefully it's enough to start the scale moving down. :)  While I'm very proud of my work, I still have a ways to go before I hit my true goal.

Today's Goal: jump into the full routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Keep on that water!

Calories Consumed: 1009

             3 minutes warm-up
             40 minutes jog/run
            (3 - 5 minute sprints)
             8 minutes cool down/stretch

       Strength Training:
            50 push ups
            100 regular crunches
            100 reverse crunches
            100 oblique crunches (each side)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day 56 - Naps and Crankiness

Sunday, January 17, 2010

So today was another awesome day of filming.  I'm so grateful to be doing this work.  I'm proud of it and very excited to be a part of such an amazing production.

That said: I did better today.  I was able to make a better approximation on my calories.

I was really cranky though.  Sorry Jon!  I definitely took it out on him at first.  I did, however, apologize.  I'm getting better at recognizing when I'm being inflexible and even somewhat belligerent.  I'm getting better at saying "I'm sorry".

I took a nap and got up later and decided I absolutely HAD to do SOME kind of workout.

I settled on watching a West Wing and doing some cardio.  It was something.  Given the schedule of insanity I've been on I really commend myself on getting SOME workout in.  Hopefully if we wrap a bit earlier tomorrow I can get home and get a better workout in.

Today's Goal:  Get more water in = SUCCESS (I doubt I got the entire 80 oz.  But I did drink a lot of water).

Tomorrow's Goal: Try and jump into the full routine if possible

Calories Consumed: 1049

            3 minutes warm-up
            40 minutes jog/run
            8 minutes cool-down/stretch

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day 55 - Filming and Sleeping

Saturday, January 16, 2010

So today we have a very crazy turn-around time for our filming.  Off the set at 3:00 PM and back on the set at 1:30 AM for hair and make-up.  So exhausted.  Must sleep.

No workout today.  Only sleep.

Better post tomorrow.

Today's Goal: be careful at craft services = SUCCESS (only ate fruit and eggs and veggies)

Tomorrow's Goal: try to get more water in

Calories Consumed: ???  Approx 1200?

Workout: NONE (sleep for a quick turn-over time)

Day 54 - Weigh-in week 8 and Rest

Friday, January 15, 2010

So today was a weigh-in day and a day of rest.  We are on set starting at 2:00 AM this coming morning (Sat.) until 2:00 PM Saturday afternoon.  There will be little time to sleep or rest so I'm going to have to keep my energy up with good food and basically "graze" all weekend.  We film Saturday through Monday afternoon.

As far as the weigh-in goes I did gain.  Only 4 ounces but it's still a gain so that's never fun.  BUT, I'm not throwing in the towel.

I completed a kick-ass workout today and I feel really good about that.

The next few days will be very hard to determine calories since we have craft services providing everything.  But, I will be careful and watch the choices I make.  No candy bars for me.  And lots of tea and coffee.

See you on the next break of filming!  Yay Fall Away!

Today's Goal: Get in some rest and water = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: be very careful with my choices at the craft services table

Calories Consumed: Approx. 1200

             3 minutes warm-up
             40 minutes jog/run
            (2 - 5 minute run/invis jump rope sprints; 2 - 1 minute skaters)
              8 minutes cool-down/stretch

     Strength Training:
             100 push ups
              1 session of Pilates 100
             100 regular crunches
             100 regular pulsed crunches
             100 oblique crunches (each side)
             100 regular squats (12 lbs each side)
             100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each side)
             100 plie squats (12 lbs each side)
             100 pulsed plie squats (12 lbs each side)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Day 53 - Migraines and Madness

Thursday, January 14, 2010

So today was ick ick ick.  Suffice it to say, I had a migraine.  I still feel awful and I just want to sleep forever!

Short post today.  I did, however, get in some workout.  Trust me, I'm even surprised.  Jon and I got no domestic stuff done, though.  And that's unfortunate.  We have cages and laundry to do. :(  But I was happy just to get rid of the migraine and get in some workout.

I have a not-so-good feeling about this weigh-in tomorrow.  What with my small workouts and extra recovery and caloric overload and cramps this week, I'll be happy with a small gain.  Ugh.

I hate bad weeks.  They feel like they undermine all the work!  Even though I technically DID work out.  More than many!  It's just frustrating.

So, there it is.  Tomorrow may be an ick day just because of the scale. And because of my need to sleep during the day! This weekend proves to be a very busy one with filming.  I will definitely try to get the blog posts up in a timely manner.  But if I'm late-ish I will catch up.

Today's Goal: Do my cardio before Jon gets home from work = FAIL (but I did get my cardio in so that's good...)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get enough sleep and enough water.

Calories Consumed: 1011

             3 minutes warm-up
             30 minutes jog/run
            (6 - 1 minute sprints-skaters)
             5 minutes cool-down

       Strength Training
            50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
            50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
            50 triceps curls  (12 lbs each hand)
            50 chest flies  (12 lbs each hand)
            50 shoulder press  (12 lbs each hand)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 52 - Cramps and Caloric Overload

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So today started out AWFUL.  I was up at 3am with horrible cramps.  I finally got back to sleep to wake up with the same pain at about 6am.  It was just one bad dream after another. :(

When I finally peeled myself out of my bed, I realized I had little time to get all my workout done before I had to meet my mom to work on wedding stuff.

I've heard that working out (especially cardio) can help cramps.  So I started some cardio.  It did help.  But I also think popping a few ibuprofen was the "real" help.

After about 30 minutes (yeah that's all I could get) I went to take a shower and realized that somehow the bubble bath popped open on the shelf and had fallen on its side and had dripped bubble goo EVERYWHERE AND ON EVERYTHING.


I quickly called my Mom and told her I'd be running about 30 minutes late.  Then I did a VERY fast clean-up (didn't finish it) and showered and ran out of the house.

Mom and I were looking at places to hold the rehearsal dinner.  We wanted to go a little more light and fun since our wedding is a bit more formal.

We decided to come back to the restaurant and do a tasting that night with Jon and my dad.

After getting back to her apartment we hit the lists and tried to get some things finished.  I was in need of some food.  I had a small snack knowing full-well I would be having calories out of my personal control tonight with the tasting.

UGH!  Food was amazing.  Amazing.  BUT, the calories were ridiculous.  I ate as little as I could and still feel like I was giving a true idea as to what the food would taste like (we got prawns and sea bass and tuna, etc.  I am a pescatarian so I don't eat meat or poultry.  Only fish).

After leaving I just started to feel icky again.  I wanted to take more ibuprofen, but I also needed to get my abs and legs in today.

I don't know how I did it, but I busted out the abs and legs when we got home last night.  No extra cardio, but I did what I could.  I barely combated the calories, though, I'm sure.  Things were DRIPPING in oil.

Ok, ok, I know tomorrow is another day.  And I did do well to avoid all the chocolate my mom has lying around the house.  I wanted a frango mint so badly I could taste the indulgence in my mind.  But I didn't.
So that was good, right?

Today's Goal:  Drink water and be careful at dinner.  FAIL (I know I did the best I could at dinner, but it just was a caloric fest.  And I somehow lost count as to how much water I drank. Although I can tell you it most likely was NOT enough).

Tomorrow's Goal:  Do my cardio before Jon gets home from work.

Calories Consumed: approx 1500??  (seriously!)

            3 minutes warm-up
            30 minutes jog/run
            (1 - 5 minutes sprint)
             5 minutes cool down

      Strength Training:
           50 push-ups
           1 set Pilates 100's
          100 regular crunches
          100 reverse crunches
          100 oblique crunches (both sides)
          100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
          100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
          100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
          100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day 51 - Time and Money

Tuesday, January 13, 2010

So today was a much better day.  I got in a great workout and felt like things were mostly back on track.

I know a lot of my sleep issues are due to the fact that Jon and I have an absolutely hideous mattress.  It was never meant to be our full-time mattress but it's all we have at the moment.

We're saving every penny we can to just get to go on a honeymoon.  Also, I'm really revving up the promoting of my voiceover demos so any extra money I make has been going into that.


Throughout my whole life I've never had just one interest.  I've been a jack of all trades, master of none.  I've decided to change that vision.  I want to stop all the desperate attempts to "get" somewhere.  I am just putting my focus into my interests.  In the future I am totally open to them changing but, for now, I have to stop just shooting myself in the foot.

This is why I am heavily focusing on film and voiceover.  I'm not leaving theatre, altogether, but it's not where my interests are lying these days.  For the first time in my life, I'm ok with that.

Time is what I am lacking.  Time and money.  I've been putting off seeing friends and family so I can focus on me and my goals.  It's taken a toll on my mental state.  I miss my friends.  I tend to have hermit-tendencies.  So this week and a bit of next week I made sure to make firm plans with friends and family so I HAVE to get out of the house and schedule myself better.

Now, of course, I'm freaking out about the time I'm spending away from those things I have to do!

Balance.  Right?  BALANCE.

Got to get a bit better on my water.  I only got in about 50 oz today.  It was not enough.

Working on wedding stuff tomorrow with Mom. Would love to really get some things off of THAT list!

Today's Goal: back into the workout routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: DRINK WATER!  And be careful at dinner.

Calories Consumed: 1095

            3 minutes warm-up
            40 minutes jog/run/shadow box/kicks
           (1 - 10 minute sprint; 2 - 1 minute skaters)
            8 minutes cool-down/stretch

        Strength Training:
            60 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
            50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
            50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
            50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
            50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 50 - Listening to my body and trusting my body

Monday, January 11, 2010

So today was a day I did nothing.  Seriously.  I did nothing.  I slept in pretty late.  Considering shooting finished at about 5:00am this morning, I realized I needed to rest.

Jon and I had a bunch of errands to run after he went to work.

We did none of them.

As a matter of fact, he hadn't been feeling well all weekend, so he took the day off and just rested too.  I don't think we left the bed for more than 30 minutes.  We were both exhausted and just needed a reboot.

I had planned to get up and workout later in the day.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

I just couldn't get the energy up.

So, I guess today became a recovery day.

I'm trying to give myself some latitude.  I know being up all night and changing my sleep schedule can mess me up for a while.  When I worked at 4:00am at Starbucks I'd have to go to sleep at 9:00pm to be able to function the next day.  Then after being cut I'd have to go home and take a nap.  I was always tired.

I know I've been on a great track working out almost 6 days a week every week.  I don't want to get off-track.  It's so easy to just let myself "take a day".  I don't want to fall back into a bad habit.

I'm learning to just trust myself and my body.  I do feel better knowing I've worked out, so the rush I get from having DONE my workout will help me keep up the good habit, right?  And when I do need a break because my schedule is making me exhausted, I just need to give myself that time to rest.  I need to trust myself a little more.

It's hard to do that.  Especially when I've "failed" myself so many times before with my workouts.  I tend to come back but it's usually after a long break and the inconsistency yields little results.

But, I trust myself this time.  This time I am using only me (and YOU via this blog).  I'm not using any gimmicks or helpful things other than my desire to live my best life.

So, today I forgive myself and move on.  Tomorrow is another day.

Today's Goal: Drink at least 60 oz of water and take my multi-vitamin = Fail/SUCCESS (I think I drank 40 - 50 oz...maybe )

Tomorrow's Goal: Back on the workout schedule - cardio and weights and use BL9* to really motivate me if I need it.

Calories Consumed: 901

Workout: NONE = recovery

*BL9 = The Biggest Loser season 9 - GREAT motivator!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Day 49 - Filming and Freezing

Sunday, January 10, 2010

So today was the first day of filming!  Glorious and wonderful filming!  I cannot tell you how excited and happy I am to be a part of this incredible project.

The crew and the cast and the whole thing was amazing.  I cannot wait until next weekend!

However, we were shooting outside in below freezing temperatures.  While in this scene I was able to wear a coat and scarf, my toes nearly froze off because the cheap boots I got are essentially made out of plastic.

The amazing crew ran to get me toe-warmers.  They helped for a bit.  But, seriously, I have to find a better way to keep my toes warm.  Put the foot warmers on BEFORE I get cold, maybe... :)  Also: better socks!

Other than that little craziness, I feel like the luckiest girl!

I cannot say enough awesome things about this experience.  It is everything about why I am an actor.  Love!  LOVE!

During the day I tried to sleep as much as I could.  I purposely cleared my schedule so I could get some rest, get in some cardio and just relax before shooting.

Same thing goes for tomorrow.  Our call time: 11pm Sunday night.  Wrap time: 5:00am Monday morning!  [yawns]


*for those of you interested:

Today's Goal: Get in some cardio and get some sleep during the day = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: drink water (at least 60 oz) and take my multi-vitamin

Calories Consumed: 924

             3 minutes warm-up
            40 minutes jog/run
           (1 - 5 minute run/jump rope sprint; 5 - 1 minute skaters)
            8 minute cool-down/stretch

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 48 - Hopes and Doubts

Saturday, January 9, 2010

So today was an errand day for Jon Wolter and me.  We ran around to the bank, to the Post-Office, and did laundry.

Um, if you can avoid going to the Post-Office on a Saturday when you need to get a passport. DO.  Avoid it at all costs.

It took over 1.5 hours just to get him through the line, (a specially designated line JUST for those needing passport services) and get his photo taken.  Also, I had no idea that they actually TAKE your birth certificate.  Supposedly they mail it back to you.  REALLY?  Is this necessary?  To take control of your birth certificate?  Wow.  Considering it's the Chicago post-office, my comfort level is not quite there.  Fingers-crossed he gets both the passport AND the birth certificate back in plenty of time for our honeymoon!

Oh, and a quick shout-out to some of the well-behaved kids standing in line at the very busy Post-Office. Thank you for your patience and lack of shouting/crying.

To the mother who decided it was appropriate to give your 4 year old child a small toy that plays a kazoo-like tune at full-volume every time he presses on it:
May I suggest you let him bring a SILENT toy next time he is to be out in public.
The Rest of the Frustrated Customers at the Ashland/Wellington Post-Office.

After that ordeal we had lunch at one of my favorite Chicago restaurants, The Chicago Diner.  It's a vegetarian restaurant with vegan options.  I love this place.  My ex never wanted to go there.  He refused to even try some of their delicious options, claiming he was a carnivore to the core.  Well, his loss, our gain!  At least I know there's never a chance of running into him there. :)

Per usual, Jon Wolter and I had a delightful lunch and I took home left-overs for breakfast.

Finally, I worked out, we did laundry and I worked on some promotional stuff.

I was trying to stay up as late as possible tonight since my call/shoot time tomorrow starts at 11:00pm and goes until about 5:00am.

I'm nervous.  I am really glad the first scenes I'm in are fairly "tame" emotionally.  Julian, the director, really does an amazing job getting everyone comfortable before committing anything to camera.  It's helpful as an actor to know he has our back.  Yet, I'm feeling worried.

I've lost a bunch of weight, (ok, not a lot of actual weight, but my body has changed a lot and I look healthier) but will it look ok on camera?  Will I look fat?  I'm so nervous.  I don't want to look like hell.

Ugh.  I gotta snap outta this line of thinking.  I'm just nervous.  He hired me 7 pounds ago.  He liked me enough then.  So, I'm looking even better now. Right?  Ok.  Enough pep talk.  I got this.

Tomorrow's post may come late on Monday since we've got an all-night shoot.  But it will be here. No question. :)

Today's Goal: Workout and get part one of the checklist done for the film = SUCCESS

Tomorrow's Goal: Get in some cardio and get sleep during the day!

Calories Consumed: 1142

              3 minutes warm up
              40 minutes jog/run
             (2 sets of 20 push-ups - 6 sets of 10 push-ups)
              8 minutes cool-down/stretch

        Strength Training:
              1 set of Pilates 100
              100 regular crunches
              100 reverse crunches
              100 oblique crunches (both sides)
              100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Day 47 - Weigh-in Week #7 and A Few Shout Outs

Friday, January 8, 2010

So today was my weigh-in day.  For the final week for my 1st goal:  THE FILM!

My original goal was that I wanted to lose 10 pounds in 7 weeks.  Actually, originally, it was 8 weeks because the film was starting NEXT weekend.  They then changed all that and began shooting a week early. This weekend.

So!  How did I do?

At this week's weigh-in I lost 1.8 lbs.  YES!

 I am THRILLED to report I have lost, altogether,  ALMOST 7 POUNDS! (6.8 lbs to be exact!)

I was really starting to get down on myself.  I had 2 really bad weeks and felt like even though I was losing, it was at such a low rate, something I was doing was really wrong!  Or, maybe, (because I'm a hypochondriac),  there was really something wrong with me.

Turns out my friend, (and awesomely avid reader of this blog), Adam, was correct.

He had private messaged me with some tips on sleeping better and maybe acquiring a more accurate scale.  In that message he mentioned that maybe I wasn't eating enough calories.

I really thought he must be out of his mind.

As a girl with an unhealthy relationship to calories, I honestly believed that not eating enough when you're over-weight was a myth.  I guess all those PSA's and Lifetime movies of Calista Flockhart binge eating and purging or not eating enough were my idea of "under-eating".

I was wrong.

Actually, Jon Wolter reminded me about last season on The Biggest Loser, Ron and Mikey were having trouble losing weight because they were not eating enough calories.  They finally listened to Bob and had a great week of weight loss.

Hmmmm.  Maybe there really was something to Adam's suggestions.

So I decided to try it.  I threw an extra 150 or so (sometimes less sometimes more) into the mix to see how it would fare.

Lo and behold I dropped almost 2 pounds this week!

So, THANK YOU ADAM!!!!  :)  Your awesome attention to me and this blog put me back on track and helped ease some depression.  *HUGS!*

I'd also like to point out that I START FILMING ON SUNDAY NIGHT!  Can I be more excited?  I think not!  Tomorrow is my checklist day.  Sunday is my double check list day!  I cannot wait!

I may not have actually hit my 1st goal of 10 lbs, but I am shocked at how defined my arms are getting.  I can "see" ab muscle and, seriously, don't mess with my legs.  They are CUT! :)

I'm pretty proud of my work these past 7 weeks.

One of my other friends, Becky, has been working her butt off to change her life.  I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments.  She's battled many of life's toughest challenges and does it with grace, honesty, and humor.  Check out her honesty and hard work at her blog. Hugs, Becky!  And thank you for your warmth, and kindness.

So NOW what am I going to do with this blog?  WELL!  I have decided I LOVE this idea of being accountable everyday to all of you.  So, I've decided to continue this journey until I reach my ultimate goal.

I Want To Wear A Bikini On My Honeymoon.


I haven't worn a bikini since 2002 when I lost a bunch of weight using a pill product no longer sold in the USA because it contained Norepinephrine.  I was thin, but I was NOT in shape.  I looked drawn and sickly and not well.

This time I am doing it right.  Workouts, healthy eating and no pills.  All natural.  All me.

Before that?  I wore a bikini when I was four years old.  No joke.  That's it!  So, this time, as a healthy adult, I want to wear a bikini and feel GREAT about it.

My wedding is June 19th 2010.  I believe I have about 12 - 15 pounds (or about 3-4 sizes) before I will feel comfortable parading around in the barely nude.

Ready for this next ride in the process?  Me too!  Let's rock and roll!

Weight-loss to date: 6.8 lbs!

Today's Goal:  Take my multi-vitamin = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Work out and get part one of the checklist done for the film!

Calories Consumed: 1067

             3 minutes warm up
             42 minutes jog/run
            (2 - 5 minute sprints; 5 - 1 minutes sprints --skaters--)
              8 minute cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press  (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies  (12 lbs each hand)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Day 46 - Recovery and Domesticated

Thursday, January 7, 2010

So today was my recovery day for this week.  I always feel leary of taking a recovery day the day before a weigh-in but I knew I needed it.  Besides, Jon and I had a ton of domestic crap to do around the house.  One of which was vacuum. Oh lord, it is not fun trying to do ab and strength training and stretching on our awful carpet, especially when it needs to be vacuumed!

Jon made a great dinner and we pretty much took it easy most of the evening.  It was a fairly uneventful day all around.  Work was only slightly stressful, so all in all it was a good day to rest.

I would have liked to have gotten in all my water, but that didn't happen.  I also realized I've been forgetting to take my multivitamin again!  ARGH! I have to get better about that.  I think it adds to my exhaustion. 

Today's Goal: Get some domestic things done. Take the day as recovery. Drink my water. 80 oz.

Success/Fail (got the domestic stuff done, took the day as recovery, only drank 60 oz)

Tomorrow's Goal: take my multivitamin

Calories Consumed: 1051

Workout: None - recovery

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Day 45 - Overwhelmed and Under-funded

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

So today started out ok.  Work was a bit stressful but nothing that felt so awful I couldn't handle it.  That was good.

I spent a good portion of the day mapping out my plans for the next few months, mentally.  I guess it would make more sense to write these things down.  But, I have this weird inability to write something down unless I really know I can/will get to it.  Some of these things I've "mapped" are just abstract ideas/hopes.  To write them down cements them in a way I'm not necessarily ready for.

One of the things I had time to work on was our honeymoon.  My sister-in-law's mom is a travel agent.  A really good one.  She helped get my cousin and his wife a spectacular 7-day honeymoon for a fantastic price. I'm hoping she can do the same for us!  She and I have played email tag for a while and she threw out some great ideas but then asked the question: "So what is your budget"?




We don't have one? 

We are very slowly putting money into savings.  We have sacrificed some things in order to have SOME kind of savings.  It's very tough when we are paying off student loans, bills, etc. and STILL can't make ends meet each month.  But slowly and surely we are working it out.

But we definitely don't have enough in savings for a honeymoon.


I threw out an arbitrary number in hopes it would be enough to get what we want.

I just hope we only have to put 1/2 the money down.  That we could cover!  The rest, well, we'll have to do some more saving for that!

By the time I got home I was freezing and exhausted.  Jon had had a horrible day at work and was really stressed out.  I pushed myself to do my workouts (watched a great episode of the West Wing) but my brain/heart etc. wasn't really into it.

It's weird. I seem to have one day on that's a good workout day. Energized, feeling good, etc.  And then the next day is just off! I'm exhausted and unable to complete all tasks.  The ping-pong effect is frustrating and tiresome.  By the time I'd finished my workout and showered, I was worn out!  And it didn't help that Jon and I realized we have so much to do before I start filming this weekend.  There's a lot of domestic crap on our plates.

One task at a time, I guess.  Trying to stay "whelmed" instead of overwhelmed.

Today's Goal: Do a full workout = Success/Fail. (I did all the components of the full work out, but my cardio was lacking in time)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get some domestic things done. Take the day as recovery.  Drink my water. 80 oz.

Calories Consumed: 1020

             3 minutes warm up
             30 minutes jog/run
            (7 intervals of push-ups -- 5 - 10 push-ups/ 2 - 20 push-ups)
             8 minutes cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:
              100 push-ups
              100 regular crunches
              100 reverse crunches
              100 oblique crunches (each side)
              100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Day 44 - Inspiration and Perspiration

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

So today was awesome!  Work was "meh" but after work was awesome!

First, I got 60 oz of water in before 5pm today!  AND I had filled up the water bottle again to have for my work out!  I knew I'd hit that 80 oz today and I totally did! I smashed it! I filled the water up AGAIN for dinner!  So all in all I probably got 90 oz in today.  GO ME.

Second, my workout was awesome!  Yes, I watched another episode of the West Wing!  And I did my cardio.  I did a different grouping of sprints and I really enjoyed it.  Man, the West Wing totally helps get me through my cardio. :)  I'll have to find another show to take its place when I finish the series!

Third, I finished the cardio well enough before 7pm which was my ultimate goal.  Today was the first episode of Season 9 of The Biggest Loser.  If you wanna talk about inspiration. Wow. These people and the challenges and the entire process blows me away.  Jon and I don't have TiVo or a working VCR so Tuesdays are really my day to be certain I can unwind and watch my ONE important reality show.  I cried at least 7 times last night.  There's so much pain, but there is so much accomplishment too!  LOVE THAT.

I finished my strength training during the first hour of the show.  Jon made dinner and we watched the weigh-ins. 

After that we caught up on the news via MSNBC and Keith Olbermann/Rachel Maddow and then bed!  Really great day.  I felt fantastic. :)

Today's Goal:  Drink 80 oz of water = SUCCESS!!!!

Tomorrow's Goal: Do my full workout

Calories Consumed: 1080

              3 mintues warm up
              45 minutes jog/run/invis. jump rope/skaters
             (5 - 1 minute sprints - skaters)
             (2 - 5 minute sprints - invis. jump rope/fast-runs)
              8 minute cool down

         Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Day 43 - Fatigue and Breathing

Monday, January 4, 2010

So today just felt like a day of failure.  I know it wasn't that bad but it sure felt like it.  I was exhausted at work and felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything.  I kept getting phone calls and getting caught in situations I am not equipped to handle and feeling like a jerk because I had to continually say, "I'm sorry but Paul will be back in the office on Monday, January 11th. He will be able to help you then". 

Nothing frustrates me more than not having answers or a resource for my answers when working in a job.  I love the alone-factor except when I don't have anyone to call in case of a situation I can't readily deal with.  I do have a supervisor and he's really nice, but he doesn't know the ins and outs of the job so he can't easily assist me on most things.  I've found myself having to bother Paul in Poland while he's on vacation way more than I ever wanted to. 

By the time Jon Wolter showed up, (he gets off at 4:30 and this office is in walking distance to his office so I give him a ride home), I was absolutely ready to get out of dodge. 

I was actually looking forward to and dreading my pending workout.

Looking forward to it because:
  • I often get a nice boost of energy once I begin
  • I was planning on watching the West Wing while doing cardio (yay)
  • It wasn't being at work!
Dreading it because:
  • I was completely exhausted
  • It's a WORKOUT - it's not usually altogether the most fun time I've had
  • It's a mental game - and that is also exhausting
  • It's nearly impossible to workout at home and not notice how cluttered our apartment is
I turned on the West Wing and began the cardio, like normal.  But nothing, I mean NOTHING I did was making this workout happen for me.  I was running slower, I was mentally not there.  I tried gearing myself up, I tried infusing push-ups in the middle of the cardio to give me some sweat and a boost, change it up.  Nope.  By the time I hit 30 minutes I knew I had very little left in me.  I eked out 35 minutes and I had had it.  So I ended the workout.

I did stretch and cool down.  I was definitely feeling disappointed in myself but, seriously, my body was telling me, "This is all I've got today.  I'll give you what I have when I have it.  This is what you get today.  Put me to bed soon, please."

I decided to just breathe.

Recently I've increasingly become interested in the different types of meditation.  I have a brain that doesn't shut up or quiet down, easily.  So usually a guided meditation is a better type for me.  However, I decided to take 2 minutes and just breathe.  I sat on the floor, closed my eyes and breathed.  It was quite refreshing, although my brain wouldn't keep still.  I concentrated on my breath and just focused on relaxing my muscles and feeling the stress drain away.

It was lovely.  I finished up by doing 1/2 of the abs I normally do and just didn't even consider the legs.  Once done, I crawled into a bath and Jon was making dinner.  I got out and we watched one of my new favorite shows, Men of a Certain Age on TNT.  There were a few Rocky references in the show and with one of them they show a similar image from the film where Rocky is standing with his arms up in the air. 

I realized, tomorrow will be a better day.

Today's Goal: drink 80 oz of water = FAIL (I drank 60 oz )

Tomorrow's Goal: drink 80 oz of water. Yup I'm throwing it back in there.  Tomorrow is a different day.

Calories Consumed: 1192

             3 minutes warm-up
             35 minute jog/run/skaters
            (3 - 1 minute sprints)
             8 minutes cool down stretch

        Strength Training:
             100 push ups
             50 regular crunches
             50 reverse crunches
             50 oblique crunches (each side)

Monday, January 4, 2010

Day 42 - Freezing and Blue Agave syrup

Sunday, January 3, 2010

So today started out like a great Sunday morning.  I had no major obligations in the early part of the day and I was lazily getting myself out of bed to get going. 

I worked out to The West Wing.  We have the episodes on the computer but I am just getting through the series for the first time.  Love this show.  It really makes the workout go so much faster! For those who are interested, I'm in season 5, Episode 19.

I've rediscovered tea, again.  It tends to happen during the ridiculously freezing cold winters of Chicago.  I remember just how comforting a nice cup of tea would be and am always thrilled to have it warming up my hands.

However, The Chicago Diner has introduced me to a new love.  Blue Agave nectar/syrup.  Um, seriously this stuff is off the chains!  It tastes like a buttery honey syrup but has a low glycemic index (yay for me!) and is the same calories as raw honey!  Yet, it's so sweet you can use less and still have an amazing flavor! I feel like the blue agave plant reached down and patted my head in a loving gesture and showed me the ways of the future!  AMAZING.

So, yes, I have that in my tea or in my organic peanut butter (it's never sweet enough for me), or on toast.  Mmmmm.  It's a must-try!

After all that I went to rehearsal at the location of many of our scenes for the film.  Amazing.  So much fun.  A couple of us were there and we did some improv with our characters. It was a blast. :)

Tomorrow, work work work!  1 more week!  Next weekend is the film!  Woo hoo!  I'm going to try and keep up the blog, though.  I like having this blog to reflect and keep an account of my workouts and progress.

Today's goal: 2- 5 minute sprints during cardio = SUCCESS! (thanks West Wing!)

Tomorrow's goal: drink 80 oz of water

Calories Consumed: 1176

              3 minutes warm up
              47 minutes jog/run/invis jump rope/ football drills
              (2 - 5 minute sprints)
               8 minutes cool down/stretch

        Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Day 41 - The unknown and Calories

Saturday, January 2, 2010

So today I realized I am going to have trouble remembering to type or write 2010 or '10 on anything for a while.  I usually can get it down by June and then have about 6 good months before having to revamp my brain to the new date.  This was much easier when I was younger! ;)

I slept in.  And I liked it.

Then reality hit and I realized that not only did I have to work out, but it was a night out with the family to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday! (Her actual birthday is tomorrow but it was the best night to get everyone together!).

So up I went to work out.  It went well today.  Maybe those extra calories last night helped?  Eh, too soon to tell.   Either way, I got through it and Jon and I showered and headed to the 'burbs to dinner.

We made a few stops along the way (looking for costume pieces for the film and for Jon to trade-in/buy some new games for our amazing state-of-the-art gaming system...Playstation 2!  (For those of you who aren't avid gamers, this system is definitely NOT state-of-the-art anymore.  It came out in 2000).

We had dinner at P.F. Chang's and everyone wanted to eat "family style".  This can pose a slight problem for me because I am eating "unclean" food (that wasn't prepared at home with little oil/butter, etc) and somewhat out of my control on how healthy it is.

I did my best in choosing the healthiest I could and avoided things that were deep fried or had too much sauce, etc.  I approximated my calories, and I think I was "close" but it's really not my favorite way to eat.  I also ended up going over my calories more than I intended to. But not terribly.

After we got home I wanted to watch Paranormal Activity to see what the hype was about.  It was definitely an intriguing movie.  I'd give it a thumbs up for freaking me out, psychologically.   Jon and I kept the lights on for a while and then watched a few Family Guy's to get it out of our systems. :)  That helped.

Tomorrow!  Informal rehearsal for the film.  :)

Today's Goal - eat 1350 calories = Success AND fail (I ate more than 1350 but I at least ate 1350...)

Tomorrow's Goal - 2 - 5 minute sprints during cardio

Calories Consumed: 1435

             3 minutes warm up
             45 minutes jog/run/invis jump rope
             (2- 5 minute sprints)
              8 minutes cool-down/stretch

     Strength Training:
             100 push ups
             1 round Pilates 100
             100 regular crunches
             100 reverse crunches
             100 oblique crunches (each side)
             100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
             100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
             100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
             100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Day 40 - Weigh-in week 6 and movies

Friday, January 1, 2010

So today is NEW YEARS DAY!  YAY!  We made it to 2010!  :)  This is going to be a great year for me.  I can feel it.  I'm making positive changes in my life all around.  I will be leading a happier and more productive life.  :)  Yay me!

So, the weigh-in.  Surprisingly, I lost 2 oz.  Again!  While I'm THRILLED I actually lost weight considering I thought I might gain, I'm slightly confused as to why the weight is slowing down so much.

I'm thinking about trying an experiment and eating a few extra calories per day.

I wanted to get an idea of how many calories I was expending for my workouts.  In most cases, if I do my jog/run for 45 minutes I'm expending about 370 calories.  And for the weight-lifting I'm probably expending about 140.  So that means about 510 calories, give or take.  So, I need to be eating enough to cause a deficit but still not be in starvation mode, right?

I still have no idea how much I should be eating with the deficit.  I THINK it's about 1200?  Maybe?  Ugh.  I'm only 5'2".  Maybe I DO need to go see a nutritionist to make sure I'm doing everything correctly.  I know the food I'm eating is really good.  It's clean and almost always fresh/homemade.  I almost never eat processed food and I don't eat fast food.  So, all in all, I should be looking great, right?

Anyhow, that's the next step.  I have to try and shake things up a bit.  Maybe my body thinks I'm starving it.  As much as I'm afraid to add calories, I think I need to.  At least for a week and see how it fairs.

Jon and I have been watching movies all day.  He made Hopping John and collards.  MMMMM!  His collards are fantastic.  For those of you who know southern cooking you know, traditionally, Hopping John and collards are made with pork.  I don't eat pork (I'm strangely allergic), so Jon made me a vegetarian version!  He's so wonderful.  And the food was amazing.

You eat these things on New Year's Day.    The Hopping John is for luck and the collards are for money!  I could use both of those things this year!  Go 2010!

After that, we spent the afternoon and evening watching movies and just hanging out together.  A perfect start to the new year!

Today's Goal: Jump back into the workout adding 12 lbs for the upper body = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Focus on getting 1350 calories -

Calories Consumed: 1171

               3 minutes warm up
               47 minutes jog/run/invis jump rope
               (5 - 2 minute sprints)
               8 minutes cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

I did my entire upper body with 12 lbs in each hand!  I rock!  :)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Day 39 - New Years Eve and Recovery

Thursday, December 31, 2009

So today is New Years Eve!  Work sucked.  There was a problem with security in the mail room and towards the end of my day I was stressed and dealing with building issues.  It was not a pretty day to start my happy jaunt into 2010.

But like everything else, it ended and I left.

This week has been slightly stressful.  I've been waiting on some news that I wasn't able to get until 4pm today.  The news would either be a relief or potentially bad.  Upon arriving home I got the news and, thankfully, it was GOOD news!

But, the week of stressing, I think, caused me to have mild setbacks in my weight-loss.  I've been working on staying unstressed as often as possible.  Trying different tactics to keep my anxiety down and keep myself on an even keel.  It's worked some of the time.   But this week it just wasn't my week.

I will be blown away if the scale shows a loss of any kind tomorrow.  Blown away.

Mostly because of a few factors:
1. I have been stressed.
2. I have been emotional.
3. I was not as awesome on my salt intake as I could have been
4. I upped my weights to 12 lbs for somethings which means muscle is growing

All of these factors could contribute to the scale.

I've been feeling bloated too.  But I know that's to be expected here and there.  All I can do is just keep up my weekly routine and trust that my body is changing even if the scale isn't showing it.

I expect setbacks, I am just trying to not feel like a failure when they happen.  Although, they haven't happened yet.  Tomorrow will tell exactly how/if I need to improve.

As far as doing a workout, I decided that Jon and I haven't had a night where we can just relax and watch a movie.  So we did.  I chose to make this day a complete recovery day.  NO WORKOUT.  We did our laundry and just decided to kick back, watch a movie and then wait for midnight!

It was a blast!  Perfect evening.

Today's Goal:  Do 3 2 minutes sprints = FAIL (well, because today became recovery day)

Tomorrow's Goal:  Jump back into the workout again adding the 12 lbs to the upper body

Calories Consumed: 1206

Workout = NONE (recovery)

Here's to a brand new year!  Yay for 2010!  I get to get married this year!!!!!! :)