Sunday, February 28, 2010

Day 94 - Superstitions and Weigh-in week #14

Friday, February 26, 2010

So today was the last day of rehearsal for Senior Spotlight.  I'm really looking forward to getting to work with the senior citizens in the residencies.  Apparently we do sing-a-longs and work on their imaginations with theatre games and such.  It sounds like a rewarding experience for us and for them.

The show is really cute and I will miss rehearsing it with everyone.  As an understudy I am not called in for the shows (although I definitely plan to go see one).  I just have to keep up on the script and the music in case someone gets sick and I'm needed.

I also had an audition today...

I don't usually broadcast my auditions like some people.  I'm sure it's superstition or because I don't want to go through the process of explaining it if I don't get the job.  It's like going on constant job interviews.  People don't know what to say to you when you say you didn't get the job.  They feel badly for you but it gets awkward.  It's much easier to mention it later.

THEM:  "Where were you yesterday when I called"?

YOU: "Oh, I was at an audition".

THEM: "Wow!  What for?"

YOU: "For an agent".

THEM: "How did it go?"

YOU: "Pretty good/ok/great/awful (etc)"

THEM: "Oh, well great/you'll get 'em next time/good for you/chin up".

YOU: "Thanks"

This scenario is SO much better for me after the fact than before the fact.  I really have no interest in discussing my auditions.  I psych myself out of them if I talk about them too much.  Afterwards, I'm all about discussing it, even if it didn't go well.  I even have a sense of humor about it sometimes. :)

That being said...

I had an audition on Friday.  For an agency.  A good one in the city.  For my voiceover.

I was really excited (and a bit nervous).  I only told one person I was going in.  C* at Sound Advice (the place I recorded my demo.  THEY ROCK).  I wanted some input on how to audition for voice over for an agent (as opposed to on-camera or theatre).  Thank goodness for C*.  She rocked it!  She gave me great advice and told me to just go in and have a blast.  Which I did.  She also cautioned me not to be discouraged if I wasn't asked to work with them this time around.  Often agents will call you in and then tell you to come back in 6 months.  I was prepared for that.

The great thing was I really did go in and have a great time.  :)

And afterwards, the agent said she'd like to try this out.

Color me SOOOO EXCITED!

Yup.  So, without jinxing anything...looks like I have an agent!

I plan to continue promoting my demo to the creatives (which gets my name out, of course!)

All is happy.

Oh!  I almost forgot about the weigh-in!

Things are going in the right direction.  I'm down another .4 lbs!

Weight loss to date: 9.6 lbs!  WOO HOO!

Go me.  Good day, sunshine!

Calories Consumed: 1240

Workout:  NONE

*This not working out thing is getting to be a really bad habit.  Gotta fix that!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Day 93 - Matters of the Heart and Taxes

Thursday, February 25, 2010

So today was busy but also slightly disorienting.  I've been in rehearsals to understudy for a show called Senior Spotlight for Imagination Theatre.

This work is very rewarding because we take the show to senior resident homes and work with them on imagination, sing-a-longs, etc. It really seems to help the majority of them forget about their "troubles" for a short while.

One of the other things we do is called a residency.  We visit one home 12 times and work one-on-one with a group of seniors.  We do exercises for their memories and their minds.  We do sing-a-longs and encourage them to get a bit active and enjoy things.

I'm looking forward to the work.  I'm just a little nervous.

Anyhow, we have a very short rehearsal schedule but they are beginning shows on Tuesday!  Yikes!  So quick.  With tight harmonies and choreography (oh goodness there go my two left feet again) I just really hope neither of the people I'm understudying gets sick...or a really good paying job...right?

I came home fully expecting to get A LOT of stuff done (including working out), and was very accomplished with my to-do list...however somehow the workout just didn't happen.

I don't like that.

It's imperative that I make time for that.  But I just didn't put my focus in the right places.

I guess the fact that I really wanted to do my taxes and get them DONE was weighing much more heavily on my head.

Lately, I've gotten phone calls/emails/texts from 3 friends who are dealing with matters of the heart.  I want so much to make things easier on them and their sadness/frustrations.   There must be something in the air.

My life-long friend, (and one of my maids of honor-to-be), called last night so upset.  I sat on my bed with my receipts spread out before me and just talked it out with her.  She doesn't live here so it's incredibly hard to give a full emotional hug to someone over the phone but we try.  She needed it.  And deserves it.  I wish I could take her pain away.  I know it will figure itself out.  I just hate it when people I love so dearly are in pain.

Other than that, I gotta find some me/down time.  It's been on-the-go for too long.  I'm getting cranky.

What are some things you do to unwind??

Calories Consumed: 962

Workout: NONE

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Day 92 - My crazy schedule and Avoiding sleep

Tuesday, February 25, 2010

So today was filled with busy-ness.  Heh. business.  Busy-ness.

Yeah.  I'm exhausted.  I've been busting out wedding stuff, film stuff, rehearsal stuff, life stuff...I'm really wiped out!

But I can't sleep.

Well, I can but I'm sort of afraid to go to sleep.

I'm afraid of my dreams.

There. I said it.  I'm afraid of my dreams.

I'm really sick of having dreams about my ex and Jon's ex.  I know that a LOT of it is wedding-related.  I also know that it's my body's way of working stuff out.  I know, even more, that it's much easier for my brain and self to deal with THEM than deal with the other wedding frustration (read: my awful uncle) which I am subjected to dealing with and really don't want to.  That situation is it's own "living nightmare".

I'd prefer to run into either one of our exes.  Twice.  Than deal with my uncle coming to my wedding. But that is a whole other blog story.  One I'll examine as the wedding day approaches and my anxiety explodes.

Yay! Things to look forward to! :)

My friend, Debbie, is having her baby in March and I cannot believe March is around the freaking corner!  Soooo close!

Ok. It's time for me to wrap up and suck it up and go to bed.  I'll be no good for anyone if I don't have sleep.

I have a full list of things to do tomorrow!
TAXES are on that list... let's see if I can hop to it!

Calories Consumed: 982

Workout:
        Cardio:
             3 minutes warm-up
             35 minutes cardio
             (2 - 1 minute sprints; 1 - 5 minute sprint)
              8 minute cool down

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Day 91 - Wedding madness and bad dreams

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

So today my mom and I spent most of the day working on wedding stuff.  I think we finally got our invitations!  We have one more meeting with the vendor and then we are set to go.  This thing is really happening!

My heart hit my feet when they told us the invites need to go out on April 19th.  Ummm, THAT'S LIKE AROUND THE CORNER!  I feel like we've done NOTHING and have SOOOO much left to do before this wedding!

Breathe!!!

Anyhow, Carrie and I did some work on our home-business and then my mom and I started home from the suburbs.  In traffic.

It wasn't so bad but I was really happy I had worked out this morning!  It made it possible for me to not be so anxious while we were out.  I don't spend the whole day just hoping I'll have enough energy to workout when I get home after whatever is going on.  I love getting it done first thing!

Another reason for invitation anxiety is that at my previous non-wedding, my ex pulled his bullshit right as the invitations were hitting the calligrapher.  We had to literally THROW OUT all our invitations. Today was a reality moment that this thing is really happening. And it's a WONDERFUL thing.  :)

I'm sure all this ramping up to the wedding is helping my incredibly bad dreams I've been having about my ex and Jon's ex.  There's so much history and drama with them.  Jon's ex was supposed to be in my last wedding.  It makes for some bad feelings and ugly situations.  I hate that it manifests itself in my dreams.  My sleep is bad enough as it is, (we need a new mattress and we need new non-meth-addicted neighbors), so these dreams are just making it worse.

I feel like this will subside once we get past the 2 month mark.  Or at least when we are finally married.  Right?  I hope so!

Here's how today played out.

How do you deal with stressful dreams?

Calories Consumed: 1220

Workout:
       Cardio:
             3 minutes warm-up
             33 minutes
             (1 - 5 minute sprint)
             8 minutes cool down

     Strength Training:
            60 back rows (resistance bands)
            60 pulsed back rows (resistance bands)
            60 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 chest flies (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)

Day 90- All business 21 - Monday

Monday, February 22, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1194

Workout: NONE

*still feel like absolute ick hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Day 89 - All business 20 - Sunday

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1129

Workout: NONE

*exhausted.  Feel run down... ugh!

Day 88 - All business 19 - Saturday

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1108


Workout:
       Cardio:
              3 minutes warm-up
              42 minutes 
              (3 - 2 minute sprints; 2 - 5 minutes sprints)
               8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
                100 reverse crunches
                100 regular crunches

Day 87 - All business 18 - Friday - Weigh-in week #13

Friday, February 19, 2010

Weigh-in  - Down 1.2lbs!!!!  :)

Calories Consumed: 1514


Workout:
       Cardio:
              3 minutes warm-up
             20 minutes 
              8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
              60 back rows (resistance bands)
              60 pulsed back rows (resistance bands)
              60 biceps curls (10 lbs each hand)
              60 triceps curls (10 lbs each hand)
              60 shoulder press (10 lbs each hand)
              60 chest flies (10 lbs each hand)

Day 86 - All business 17 - Thursday

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1353


Workout:
       Cardio: NONE (formally)
                    -- 3 hours of light dancing in rehearsal...

       Strength Training:
                 50 push ups
               100 reverse crunches
               100 regular crunches

Day 85 - All business 16 - Wednesday

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1092

Workout: NONE

Day 84 - All business 15 - Tuesday

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1235


Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            46 minutes 
            (2 - 5 minutes sprints)
             8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
             100 reverse crunches
             100 regular crunches

Day 83 - All business 14 - Monday

Monday, February 15, 2010

Calories Consumed:  1137

Workout: Slim in 6 - Burn it up!!!! (59 minutes of total body workout!!)

Day 82 - All business 13 - Sunday

Sunday, February 14, 2010

VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

Calories Consumed: 1320 (approximately)

Workout:
       Cardio:
             3 minutes warm-up
             42 minutes
              8 minutes cool down

Day 81 - All business 12 - Saturday

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1237

Workout: NONE

Day 80 - All business 11 - Friday - Weigh-in week #12

Friday, February 12, 2010

Weigh-in -- back up the .4 lbs. :( (bloated like crazy!)

Calories Consumed: 917

Workout: Jillian Michael's 20 minutes workout - 30 day shred-

*TOTALLY PMSing!!!  ouch!

Day 79 - All business 10 - Thursday

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1212

Workout: NONE

*Avatar - movie

Day 78 - All business 9 - Wednesday

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Calories Consumed:  1137


Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            41 minutes 
             8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
              150 regular crunches
              150 reverse crunches

Day 77 - All business 8 - Tuesday

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Calories Consumed:  1044


Workout:
       Cardio:
            10 minutes

       Strength Training:
             50 back rows (resistance bands)
             50 pulsed back rows (resistance bands)
             50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
             50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
             2.5 minutes of lunges

Day 76 - All business 7 - Monday

Monday, February 8, 2010

Calories Consumed: 941


Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            44 minutes 
            8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
            1 set of Pilates 100
            100 reverse crunches
            100 regular crunches

*temp job at Lake Point Tower - 1 week, day 1

Day 77 - All business 6 - Sunday

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1048

Workout: NONE

*filming

Day 76 - All business 5 - Saturday

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Calories consumed: 1038

Workout: NONE

*filming

Day 75 - All business 4 - Friday - Weigh in week #11

Friday, February 5, 2010

Weigh-in = down .4 lbs!  Yay a loss!

Calories consumed:  920

Workout: NONE

*filming

Day 74 - All business 3 - Thursday

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Calories Consumed:  1105


Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            43 minutes 
            8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
             1 set of Pilates 100
             100 reverse crunches
             100 regular crunches

Day 73 - All business 2 - Wednesday

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Calories consumed: 1108

Workout:  NONE

Day 72 - All Business 1 - Tuesday

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Calories Consumed: 1191

Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            52 minutes
            (1 - 10 minute sprint)
             8 minutes cool down

       Strength Training:
             50 back rows (resistance bands)
             50 pulsed back rows (resistance bands)
             50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
             50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
             50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Oh my goodness I am so way behind I can't stand it!!!

I cannot believe how long it's been since I actually posted anything!

Life just took over and knocked me in the crazy zone.

HOWEVER:  I have not fallen off the wagon or fallen in a well or anything.  I have been keeping track of my workouts and my calories on paper and fully plan to post these things ASAP.

It just seems...daunting!  I'm exhausted every time I even THINK about doing this blog because I'm so way way behind.

BUT:  I came up with a solution.  Nothing is going to get better unless I work through it.

So for the sake of time and interest, I thought back to the reason I began posting here to begin with:  I wanted a place that would keep me accountable to myself.

So, the most important thing to post, for the moment, is what I did that day.  The emotions are sort of fleeting but still important, but I don't necessarily remember what was bugging me that day unless I address it that day.

I will be doing a flurry of daily posts to just "get those crazy days" out of the way.  I will be reflecting on things as they continue to play an emotional/recurring role in my head/in my life in future posts, for sure.  It is decidedly true that there is no way I would be succeeding this much if I wasn't putting my feelings/thoughts down on "paper".  I require that reflection.  It keeps my brain going in the right place AND it helps me acknowledge my successes (as well as my failures or...struggles).

Look for my crazy flurry of "all business" posts which should be appearing in the next few days.  After those are complete I am planning to jump head-on back into the "real" posts.

Thanks for being so supportive and awesome and reading this insanity that is my journey!

Hugs!
~Ali

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Day 71 - Coffee Talk and Ab Realities

Monday, February 1, 2010

So today was nice and somewhat uneventful.

I met with a friend for coffee.  I was a bit worried about seeing her.  We had a big miscommunication recently.  I was hoping things would smooth over at this gathering.

It did.  We had fun and a few laughs.

The biggest issue is how even though I'm not working full-time right now I'm so freaking busy.  It seems confusing to people who know me when I say I'm not available.  They cannot understand what could really be filling up my time.

Trust me.  There is a LOT.  But I will save that for another blog entry. :)

Suffice it to say I am very happy things went well with this friend, and I am hoping things go just as well with Lisa tomorrow evening.  Although, we may not be meeting because she caught this horrible pneumonia/bronchitis/cold-flu thing and may not even be at work tomorrow.  :(  Sickness sucks.

Jumped back on the workout wagon again today.  Went well and I felt good with that.

I read through Jillian Michael's Making the Cut and discovered that I need to change my ab routine a bit.  Lately, I've noticed that my obliques are getting nice and taught, but I feel like I'm "expanding" or getting wider.  According to Jillian, the obliques can DO that, especially if you have fat on top of the muscle (which I still do, stupid fat). Therefore, I'm not really doing myself much good widening if I'm trying to shrink.  So I'm changing up my ab routine.  Only regular crunches and reverse crunches.  Less or no obliques.  We'll see how this goes!

Today's Goal: re-read a bit of Making the Cut - Jillian Michael's book for ideas = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Workout during the Biggest Loser #9!  Woo hoo!

Calories Consumed: 1272

Workout:
       Cardio:
           3 minutes warm-up
          42 minutes jog/run
           (1- 10 minute sprint)
           8 minutes cool-down

     Strength Training:
           100 reverse crunches
           100 regular crunches

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Day 70 - 'Fessing up and Video workouts

Sunday, January 31, 2010

So today I have no idea what I really did.  See, lately I've been horribly slack on updating this blog.  I write notes about what I'm going to blog about (ex: I know what weights/cardio I did every day), but the days just smear into the next.

Technically, it's Thursday night.

And I'm writing about last Sunday.

Yeah.

So...honestly, I'm not sure what happened.  I believe I spent most of the day at home working on postcards for the voiceover stuff.

It was a fairly uneventful day.  Really.

However, I realized that if I decide to workout to a workout video, I'm better off doing it when Jon is around.  My mind starts to wander when there's no "accountability" and while I'll still DO the workout when I'm alone, I'm busy thinking about things. I get unfocused.

While I don't LIKE working out with Jon around it does keep my head in the game, a little.

Today I revisited Slim in 6 - Ramp it Up.

It was a good workout.  I was proud of the fact when they recommend doing the push-ups I was able--nay, determined-- to do them on my toes.  Considering I was doing 100 pushups a day for a while, ON MY TOES, two sets of 15 push-ups shouldn't be too hard.

I'm desperately trying to catch up on this blog so I can be back on my game.  Bear with me :)

Thanks!!!

Today's Goal: watch my eating. Calories are getting slightly erratic = SORT OF SUCCESS? (I guess that's not something I can really watch on one day?)

Tomorrow's Goal: re-read a bit of Making the Cut - Jillian Michael's book for ideas

Calories Consumed: 1040

Workout:
       Slim in 6 - Ramp it Up (total body workout with resistance bands)
       47 minutes

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 69 - Crazy cleaning and (almost) Running into my Ex

Saturday, January 30, 2010

So today was an interesting day.

Interesting = frustrating, productive, stressful, and surprising.

Jon and I had the day planned out:

I wanted to workout
We had to go to Best Buy
We had to go to Walgreens or a grocery store
We had to clean the kitchen and the kitchen floor

For some reason we were both really on edge today.  We usually work these things out but for some reason we were just on each other's last nerve.

That caused some major tension with some out-and-out fighting.

I HATE fighting and I sincerely hate fighting with Jon.  It makes me feel sad and confused and all my stupid childhood fears come crashing down on me.  It takes me a while to regroup and come back from those kinds of fights.

I'm sure it stems from never feeling like my side was heard in my family.  I spent so many fights at home trying to be heard.  It's very difficult.  And when Dad fights, he fights dirty.  He says something hurtful and surgical to shut it down so he can "win".  My Mom has a tendency to do the same thing, but she also just shuts down completely.  And she listens when my father is yelling at her to "hang up the phone" or whatever.

We definitely come from a family of fighters.

I end up feeling deflated and sad and just a big ball of ickiness.

Jon likes to stay in and fight.  Sometimes I can't handle it.  I can't think straight.  My emotions get in the way of my thoughts and take over.  I try to take a break so I can process but he doesn't always want to give that.

It can get messy.

However, after a long time in the car in the parking lot (isn't it always like that?  Why is shopping so damned stressful?).  We finally started to feel better and decided to finish our shopping at the grocery store near our house.

Well.

One of the most frustrating things about living in this city is how big and small it is.  I have tried to avoid the Jewel grocery store near our house for a variety of reasons the last 3.5 years.

1. It's a smaller store so the selection isn't always great
2. the aisles are narrower and it's a more frustrating shopping experience
3. My ex shops there.

Yeah, really #3 is the top reason I like to avoid the grocery store.  Although I hadn't ever run into him there.  Until today.

To be honest, I didn't actually run into him.  I saw him.  I really don't think he saw me.  It was kinda freaky.  I also saw his girlfriend (she seems like a nice person and seems to care about him which is nice for him).  She looks like a thinner version of me with smaller boobs.  He has a type.

Sigh.  It's not a big deal. Or it shouldn't be.  But I really wish my ex and Jon's ex would just let it go, already and just agree to bury the hatchet.

Do any of these bad feelings help any of us?

Well, once that awkwardness happened Jon was my lifeline and we made jokes and laughed about how icky and weird it was.  I'm grateful for his understanding my conflicted feelings about that whole thing.  He's a pretty great guy.  I'm pretty damned lucky. :)

After working out and dinner, we hit the ground running on that kitchen.

It's in fabulous shape!  Go Jon. You rocked it!

Today's Goal: try to do full cardio and light abs if I can = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: watch my eating. Calories are getting slightly erratic

Calories Consumed: 958

Workout:
       Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            47 minutes jog/run
            8 minutes stretch/cool-down

     Strength Training:
           25 push ups
           50 reverse crunches
           50 regular crunches
           50 alternating toe touches (on my back)