Day 57 - set-sick and determined

Monday, January 18, 2010

So today I had a shorter day on the set.  I started around 10:00 AM and was released around 3:00 PM.  It was a fun day.  However, upon getting released from the set I got depressed.

I really feel like when I walk on to the set I'm actually "home".  It's such a comforting feeling to be there.  I'm happy and content and don't feel like I'm "working" in any way.  Even though we keep ridiculous hours and I often need an amazing amount of sleep to counteract the time/energy it takes, I'd do it over and over again just to be a part of this incredible experience.

I love this work.  I love that this is my job.  I love saying that I'm a working actor and having something really impressive to show for it.

So leaving I feel "set-sick".  I'm homesick for the work, the people, the art.

To deal with that, I'm back trying to be on-track with my workouts and eating.

Of all the amazing things about being on set, I notice that I drink less water and am not as careful about noting every single calorie I put in my mouth.  While I'm not being an idiot about choices, I'm still grazing more than I'm writing.  It's tough when you are grabbing a quick bite between shots. It's the nature of the game.

But I'm back...at least for a few days.  Hopefully it's enough to start the scale moving down. :)  While I'm very proud of my work, I still have a ways to go before I hit my true goal.

Today's Goal: jump into the full routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Keep on that water!

Calories Consumed: 1009

Workout:
        Cardio:
             3 minutes warm-up
             40 minutes jog/run
            (3 - 5 minute sprints)
             8 minutes cool down/stretch

       Strength Training:
            50 push ups
            100 regular crunches
            100 reverse crunches
            100 oblique crunches (each side)

Day 47 - Weigh-in Week #7 and A Few Shout Outs

Friday, January 8, 2010

So today was my weigh-in day.  For the final week for my 1st goal:  THE FILM!

My original goal was that I wanted to lose 10 pounds in 7 weeks.  Actually, originally, it was 8 weeks because the film was starting NEXT weekend.  They then changed all that and began shooting a week early. This weekend.

So!  How did I do?

At this week's weigh-in I lost 1.8 lbs.  YES!

 I am THRILLED to report I have lost, altogether,  ALMOST 7 POUNDS! (6.8 lbs to be exact!)

I was really starting to get down on myself.  I had 2 really bad weeks and felt like even though I was losing, it was at such a low rate, something I was doing was really wrong!  Or, maybe, (because I'm a hypochondriac),  there was really something wrong with me.

Turns out my friend, (and awesomely avid reader of this blog), Adam, was correct.

He had private messaged me with some tips on sleeping better and maybe acquiring a more accurate scale.  In that message he mentioned that maybe I wasn't eating enough calories.

I really thought he must be out of his mind.

As a girl with an unhealthy relationship to calories, I honestly believed that not eating enough when you're over-weight was a myth.  I guess all those PSA's and Lifetime movies of Calista Flockhart binge eating and purging or not eating enough were my idea of "under-eating".

I was wrong.

Actually, Jon Wolter reminded me about last season on The Biggest Loser, Ron and Mikey were having trouble losing weight because they were not eating enough calories.  They finally listened to Bob and had a great week of weight loss.

Hmmmm.  Maybe there really was something to Adam's suggestions.

So I decided to try it.  I threw an extra 150 or so (sometimes less sometimes more) into the mix to see how it would fare.

Lo and behold I dropped almost 2 pounds this week!

So, THANK YOU ADAM!!!!  :)  Your awesome attention to me and this blog put me back on track and helped ease some depression.  *HUGS!*

I'd also like to point out that I START FILMING ON SUNDAY NIGHT!  Can I be more excited?  I think not!  Tomorrow is my checklist day.  Sunday is my double check list day!  I cannot wait!

I may not have actually hit my 1st goal of 10 lbs, but I am shocked at how defined my arms are getting.  I can "see" ab muscle and, seriously, don't mess with my legs.  They are CUT! :)

I'm pretty proud of my work these past 7 weeks.

One of my other friends, Becky, has been working her butt off to change her life.  I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments.  She's battled many of life's toughest challenges and does it with grace, honesty, and humor.  Check out her honesty and hard work at her blog. Hugs, Becky!  And thank you for your warmth, and kindness.

So NOW what am I going to do with this blog?  WELL!  I have decided I LOVE this idea of being accountable everyday to all of you.  So, I've decided to continue this journey until I reach my ultimate goal.

I Want To Wear A Bikini On My Honeymoon.

Yup.

I haven't worn a bikini since 2002 when I lost a bunch of weight using a pill product no longer sold in the USA because it contained Norepinephrine.  I was thin, but I was NOT in shape.  I looked drawn and sickly and not well.

This time I am doing it right.  Workouts, healthy eating and no pills.  All natural.  All me.

Before that?  I wore a bikini when I was four years old.  No joke.  That's it!  So, this time, as a healthy adult, I want to wear a bikini and feel GREAT about it.

My wedding is June 19th 2010.  I believe I have about 12 - 15 pounds (or about 3-4 sizes) before I will feel comfortable parading around in the barely nude.

Ready for this next ride in the process?  Me too!  Let's rock and roll!

Weight-loss to date: 6.8 lbs!

Today's Goal:  Take my multi-vitamin = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Work out and get part one of the checklist done for the film!

Calories Consumed: 1067

Workout:

        Cardio:

             3 minutes warm up

             42 minutes jog/run

            (2 - 5 minute sprints; 5 - 1 minutes sprints --skaters--)

              8 minute cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:

              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)

              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)

              50 shoulder press  (12 lbs each hand)

              50 chest flies  (12 lbs each hand)

Day 42 - Freezing and Blue Agave syrup

Sunday, January 3, 2010

So today started out like a great Sunday morning.  I had no major obligations in the early part of the day and I was lazily getting myself out of bed to get going. 

I worked out to The West Wing.  We have the episodes on the computer but I am just getting through the series for the first time.  Love this show.  It really makes the workout go so much faster! For those who are interested, I'm in season 5, Episode 19.

I've rediscovered tea, again.  It tends to happen during the ridiculously freezing cold winters of Chicago.  I remember just how comforting a nice cup of tea would be and am always thrilled to have it warming up my hands.

However, The Chicago Diner has introduced me to a new love.  Blue Agave nectar/syrup.  Um, seriously this stuff is off the chains!  It tastes like a buttery honey syrup but has a low glycemic index (yay for me!) and is the same calories as raw honey!  Yet, it's so sweet you can use less and still have an amazing flavor! I feel like the blue agave plant reached down and patted my head in a loving gesture and showed me the ways of the future!  AMAZING.

So, yes, I have that in my tea or in my organic peanut butter (it's never sweet enough for me), or on toast.  Mmmmm.  It's a must-try!

After all that I went to rehearsal at the location of many of our scenes for the film.  Amazing.  So much fun.  A couple of us were there and we did some improv with our characters. It was a blast. :)

Tomorrow, work work work!  1 more week!  Next weekend is the film!  Woo hoo!  I'm going to try and keep up the blog, though.  I like having this blog to reflect and keep an account of my workouts and progress.

Today's goal: 2- 5 minute sprints during cardio = SUCCESS! (thanks West Wing!)

Tomorrow's goal: drink 80 oz of water

Calories Consumed: 1176

Workout:
       Cardio:
              3 minutes warm up
              47 minutes jog/run/invis jump rope/ football drills
              (2 - 5 minute sprints)
               8 minutes cool down/stretch

        Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Day 40 - Weigh-in week 6 and movies

Friday, January 1, 2010

So today is NEW YEARS DAY!  YAY!  We made it to 2010!  :)  This is going to be a great year for me.  I can feel it.  I'm making positive changes in my life all around.  I will be leading a happier and more productive life.  :)  Yay me!

So, the weigh-in.  Surprisingly, I lost 2 oz.  Again!  While I'm THRILLED I actually lost weight considering I thought I might gain, I'm slightly confused as to why the weight is slowing down so much.

I'm thinking about trying an experiment and eating a few extra calories per day.

I wanted to get an idea of how many calories I was expending for my workouts.  In most cases, if I do my jog/run for 45 minutes I'm expending about 370 calories.  And for the weight-lifting I'm probably expending about 140.  So that means about 510 calories, give or take.  So, I need to be eating enough to cause a deficit but still not be in starvation mode, right?

I still have no idea how much I should be eating with the deficit.  I THINK it's about 1200?  Maybe?  Ugh.  I'm only 5'2".  Maybe I DO need to go see a nutritionist to make sure I'm doing everything correctly.  I know the food I'm eating is really good.  It's clean and almost always fresh/homemade.  I almost never eat processed food and I don't eat fast food.  So, all in all, I should be looking great, right?

Anyhow, that's the next step.  I have to try and shake things up a bit.  Maybe my body thinks I'm starving it.  As much as I'm afraid to add calories, I think I need to.  At least for a week and see how it fairs.

Jon and I have been watching movies all day.  He made Hopping John and collards.  MMMMM!  His collards are fantastic.  For those of you who know southern cooking you know, traditionally, Hopping John and collards are made with pork.  I don't eat pork (I'm strangely allergic), so Jon made me a vegetarian version!  He's so wonderful.  And the food was amazing.

You eat these things on New Year's Day.    The Hopping John is for luck and the collards are for money!  I could use both of those things this year!  Go 2010!

After that, we spent the afternoon and evening watching movies and just hanging out together.  A perfect start to the new year!

Today's Goal: Jump back into the workout adding 12 lbs for the upper body = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Focus on getting 1350 calories -

Calories Consumed: 1171

Workout:
        Cardio:
               3 minutes warm up
               47 minutes jog/run/invis jump rope
               (5 - 2 minute sprints)
               8 minutes cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:
              50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
              50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
              50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
              50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

I did my entire upper body with 12 lbs in each hand!  I rock!  :)

Day 38 - Energy and Competition

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

So today I rolled out of bed with minutes to spare to get to work.  I don't know how it happened!  Thank goodness I'd packed my lunch the day before because I needed any extra moments to feed the dog and grab my stuff together before nearly being late. 

As it happened, I forgot to bring utensils for my lunch and snacks.  This wasn't as awful as it could have been since Jon'd made these personal gluten-free 8" pizza's last night.  I ate 1/2 of mine, thinking I'd bring the other half for lunch.  This was, essentially, finger food so that wasn't too bad.  I just couldn't eat my greenbeans nor could I eat the veggie casserole.  Thankfully I had 2 oranges.  Ah!  Food you can eat with your hands, solely!

It sufficed. 

I drank a ton of water today too.  80 oz!! :)

So, my energy has been sort of blech lately.  I don't drink coffee and I really try to eat clean, healthy food, but for some reason I'm not feeling the pep.  Although, I feel less "sluggish" than when I wasn't watching my portions or eating anything I wanted.   So I'm not sure if its too little on calories or too little on protein or something.  I'm just not certain where it lies.  It's like I have to "rev up" to do my workouts.  And I do get them done, they just feel like they are often endless!

I have noticed when I am in a competition, I will try and do my best to win.  Especially if I enjoy the activity or enjoy the "battle".  A good example of this would be the game Cribbage.  I like that game. I like games in general.  However, I think because it's just for fun, I don't get emotionally involved.  I used to.  But, what irks me is the competitive nature of some of my friends.  I find it can get in the way of my journey.  I'm fairly supportive of someone when they are trying to accomplish something.  I send out love and strength and kind words.  However, I'm noticing there are people who are incredibly supportive and I really thank them for their awesome words of encouragement.  They mean THE WORLD to me. But others have made less-than-supportive comments like, "Oh now, why would you need to lose weight"?  Or, "Don't become anorexic!" Or, "Don't make me pig out alone!" Sometimes they just press me for information (like wanting to know the number of my actual weight), which make my instincts perk up and ask why they want to know?  Why is that particular information relevant?

Now, I don't want to say these people are all toxic or bad. I think I've gotten rid of those types of people long ago.  But as far as feeling comfortable with disclosure on information or process or what have you, I find I'm playing close to the vest. 

Upon discussing the idea of competition, I notice these people to be proud of their competitive nature.  And I think some competition is healthy.  Some. I think some competition is destructive.  I don't want to feel compelled to compare weight/size/calories.  I think it breeds a bad ground for support and love.  Can't we all just agree we're on our own journey?  It's not about who got there first but that we all get there at our own time?

I know I'm unique in that I'm blogging, daily, about this approach.  I guess, along with the personal demons I face I also have to learn how to handle the other people in my life.

The one thing about getting involved with the self, is it makes it easy to not make time for everyone else.  That was my modus operandi.  But, balance is the key.  Time for me AND time for others. 

I know I'll accomplish this.  It just feels awkward so far.  Sort of like a puppy with big feet trying to negotiate walking/running.

On the really plus side:  I moved to doing 12 lbs each hand for all my leg squats!! :)

Today's Goal: Get back in the workout routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Do three 2 minute sprints for cardio

Calories Consumed:  1148

Workout:
         Cardio:
              3 minutes warm up
              42 minutes jog/run/kick/invis.jump rope
              (4- 2 minute sprints)
              8 minutes cool down/stretch

        Strength Training:
               50 push ups
               Slim in 6pack abs routine - 11 min
               100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 pulsed plie squats (12 lbs each hand)

Day 36 - Temping and Tired

Monday, December 28, 2009

So today was back to the temp job.  It's been ok so far.  Not too difficult, although I tend to get frustrated when I don't have answers to questions.  I like being able to solve problems and often I feel like I'm bugging people with the answers more than I "should" because I've encountered something I'm just not equipped to deal with. 

But, I don't want that to preclude me from being asked back to work here again.  The money is decent and the work isn't awful.  Again, I do like that I'm pretty much by myself and there's no one looking over my shoulder.  As exhausting as the work can sometimes be, I do MUCH better by myself.

I found myself in a frustrating situation when I received a call from my supervisor who works at the main office in the city.  Here's how the conversation started:

Supervisor:  "Hello Ali, how was your Christmas?"

Me: "Oh it was great, thanks!  How was yours?"

Supervisor: "It was good.  Look, Ali, you have to keep the office door open."

Me: stunned silence "Um...oh! Ok.  Sorry I--"

Supervisor: "Yeah, the residents are calling to complain the door is closed and they don't know you are open"

Me: "Oh, wow, I'm sorry.  I actually put a note on the door that says, "PLEASE KNOCK. WE ARE OPEN"

Supervisor: "Yeah, I need you to keep it open, regardless"

Me: "Oh well, sorry, I mean, it gets really cold in this office and [the manager] said during training it was ok to do that as long as I put up a note saying we were here and open.  But that's ok, I'll just leave the door open"

Supervisor: "Oh. It's cold?"

Me: "Yeah, that's the only reason the door's been closed.  I have only left the office twice.  To go to the bathroom."

Supervisor: "Well, can you keep the door propped open a little?"

Me: "Yeah, sure, no problem.  I'll just deal with it.  No worries."

Supervisor: "Thank you."

So, yeah, that is just an inkling of how the day went.  I was here until 5:30 (I'm usually off at 5pm) dealing with a stupid issue.  UGH! 

By the time I got home I was in NO MOOD to work out.  But I did.  I think I got about 68oz of water in.  So that's good, I guess. I was shooting for 80 but it wasn't in the cards.

I also had to truncate my cardio.  I was beat. 

BUT!!!  We bought 12 lb weights this weekend and I added them in to my upper body routine!  And tomorrow I'll add them to the lower!  YAY!

Fingers crossed for an uneventful rest of the week!

Today's Goal: Drink more water = SUCCESS/FAIL (my internal goal was to drink 80 oz.  I didn't quite get there.  But I got about 68oz so that's much better than I've been in previous days.  So I don't feel too awful)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get the cardio done before work. (late starting time at the job)

Calories Consumed: 957

Workout:
      Cardio:
          3 minutes warm-up
          30 minutes jog/run/invisible jump rope/kicks/shadow box
          (4 - 1 minutes sprints)
          8 minutes cool down/stretch

     Strength Training:
         50 push ups
         50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
         20 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
         30 biceps curls (10 lbs each hand)
         20 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
         30 triceps curls (10  lbs each hand)
         20 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
         30 shoulder press (10 lbs each hand)
         20 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
         30 chest flies (10 lbs each hand)