Sunday, January 17, 2010
So today was another awesome day of filming. I'm so grateful to be doing this work. I'm proud of it and very excited to be a part of such an amazing production.
That said: I did better today. I was able to make a better approximation on my calories.
I was really cranky though. Sorry Jon! I definitely took it out on him at first. I did, however, apologize. I'm getting better at recognizing when I'm being inflexible and even somewhat belligerent. I'm getting better at saying "I'm sorry".
I took a nap and got up later and decided I absolutely HAD to do SOME kind of workout.
I settled on watching a West Wing and doing some cardio. It was something. Given the schedule of insanity I've been on I really commend myself on getting SOME workout in. Hopefully if we wrap a bit earlier tomorrow I can get home and get a better workout in.
Today's Goal: Get more water in = SUCCESS (I doubt I got the entire 80 oz. But I did drink a lot of water).
Tomorrow's Goal: Try and jump into the full routine if possible
Calories Consumed: 1049
Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm-up
40 minutes jog/run
8 minutes cool-down/stretch
Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts
Monday, January 18, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day 53 - Migraines and Madness
Thursday, January 14, 2010
So today was ick ick ick. Suffice it to say, I had a migraine. I still feel awful and I just want to sleep forever!
Short post today. I did, however, get in some workout. Trust me, I'm even surprised. Jon and I got no domestic stuff done, though. And that's unfortunate. We have cages and laundry to do. :( But I was happy just to get rid of the migraine and get in some workout.
I have a not-so-good feeling about this weigh-in tomorrow. What with my small workouts and extra recovery and caloric overload and cramps this week, I'll be happy with a small gain. Ugh.
I hate bad weeks. They feel like they undermine all the work! Even though I technically DID work out. More than many! It's just frustrating.
So, there it is. Tomorrow may be an ick day just because of the scale. And because of my need to sleep during the day! This weekend proves to be a very busy one with filming. I will definitely try to get the blog posts up in a timely manner. But if I'm late-ish I will catch up.
Today's Goal: Do my cardio before Jon gets home from work = FAIL (but I did get my cardio in so that's good...)
Tomorrow's Goal: Get enough sleep and enough water.
Calories Consumed: 1011
Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm-up
30 minutes jog/run
(6 - 1 minute sprints-skaters)
5 minutes cool-down
Strength Training
50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
So today was ick ick ick. Suffice it to say, I had a migraine. I still feel awful and I just want to sleep forever!
Short post today. I did, however, get in some workout. Trust me, I'm even surprised. Jon and I got no domestic stuff done, though. And that's unfortunate. We have cages and laundry to do. :( But I was happy just to get rid of the migraine and get in some workout.
I have a not-so-good feeling about this weigh-in tomorrow. What with my small workouts and extra recovery and caloric overload and cramps this week, I'll be happy with a small gain. Ugh.
I hate bad weeks. They feel like they undermine all the work! Even though I technically DID work out. More than many! It's just frustrating.
So, there it is. Tomorrow may be an ick day just because of the scale. And because of my need to sleep during the day! This weekend proves to be a very busy one with filming. I will definitely try to get the blog posts up in a timely manner. But if I'm late-ish I will catch up.
Today's Goal: Do my cardio before Jon gets home from work = FAIL (but I did get my cardio in so that's good...)
Tomorrow's Goal: Get enough sleep and enough water.
Calories Consumed: 1011
Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm-up
30 minutes jog/run
(6 - 1 minute sprints-skaters)
5 minutes cool-down
Strength Training
50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 48 - Hopes and Doubts
Saturday, January 9, 2010
So today was an errand day for Jon Wolter and me. We ran around to the bank, to the Post-Office, and did laundry.
Um, if you can avoid going to the Post-Office on a Saturday when you need to get a passport. DO. Avoid it at all costs.
It took over 1.5 hours just to get him through the line, (a specially designated line JUST for those needing passport services) and get his photo taken. Also, I had no idea that they actually TAKE your birth certificate. Supposedly they mail it back to you. REALLY? Is this necessary? To take control of your birth certificate? Wow. Considering it's the Chicago post-office, my comfort level is not quite there. Fingers-crossed he gets both the passport AND the birth certificate back in plenty of time for our honeymoon!
Oh, and a quick shout-out to some of the well-behaved kids standing in line at the very busy Post-Office. Thank you for your patience and lack of shouting/crying.
To the mother who decided it was appropriate to give your 4 year old child a small toy that plays a kazoo-like tune at full-volume every time he presses on it:
May I suggest you let him bring a SILENT toy next time he is to be out in public.
Love,
The Rest of the Frustrated Customers at the Ashland/Wellington Post-Office.
After that ordeal we had lunch at one of my favorite Chicago restaurants, The Chicago Diner. It's a vegetarian restaurant with vegan options. I love this place. My ex never wanted to go there. He refused to even try some of their delicious options, claiming he was a carnivore to the core. Well, his loss, our gain! At least I know there's never a chance of running into him there. :)
Per usual, Jon Wolter and I had a delightful lunch and I took home left-overs for breakfast.
Finally, I worked out, we did laundry and I worked on some promotional stuff.
I was trying to stay up as late as possible tonight since my call/shoot time tomorrow starts at 11:00pm and goes until about 5:00am.
I'm nervous. I am really glad the first scenes I'm in are fairly "tame" emotionally. Julian, the director, really does an amazing job getting everyone comfortable before committing anything to camera. It's helpful as an actor to know he has our back. Yet, I'm feeling worried.
I've lost a bunch of weight, (ok, not a lot of actual weight, but my body has changed a lot and I look healthier) but will it look ok on camera? Will I look fat? I'm so nervous. I don't want to look like hell.
Ugh. I gotta snap outta this line of thinking. I'm just nervous. He hired me 7 pounds ago. He liked me enough then. So, I'm looking even better now. Right? Ok. Enough pep talk. I got this.
Tomorrow's post may come late on Monday since we've got an all-night shoot. But it will be here. No question. :)
Today's Goal: Workout and get part one of the checklist done for the film = SUCCESS
Tomorrow's Goal: Get in some cardio and get sleep during the day!
Calories Consumed: 1142
Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm up
40 minutes jog/run
(2 sets of 20 push-ups - 6 sets of 10 push-ups)
8 minutes cool-down/stretch
Strength Training:
1 set of Pilates 100
100 regular crunches
100 reverse crunches
100 oblique crunches (both sides)
100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
So today was an errand day for Jon Wolter and me. We ran around to the bank, to the Post-Office, and did laundry.
Um, if you can avoid going to the Post-Office on a Saturday when you need to get a passport. DO. Avoid it at all costs.
It took over 1.5 hours just to get him through the line, (a specially designated line JUST for those needing passport services) and get his photo taken. Also, I had no idea that they actually TAKE your birth certificate. Supposedly they mail it back to you. REALLY? Is this necessary? To take control of your birth certificate? Wow. Considering it's the Chicago post-office, my comfort level is not quite there. Fingers-crossed he gets both the passport AND the birth certificate back in plenty of time for our honeymoon!
Oh, and a quick shout-out to some of the well-behaved kids standing in line at the very busy Post-Office. Thank you for your patience and lack of shouting/crying.
To the mother who decided it was appropriate to give your 4 year old child a small toy that plays a kazoo-like tune at full-volume every time he presses on it:
May I suggest you let him bring a SILENT toy next time he is to be out in public.
Love,
The Rest of the Frustrated Customers at the Ashland/Wellington Post-Office.
After that ordeal we had lunch at one of my favorite Chicago restaurants, The Chicago Diner. It's a vegetarian restaurant with vegan options. I love this place. My ex never wanted to go there. He refused to even try some of their delicious options, claiming he was a carnivore to the core. Well, his loss, our gain! At least I know there's never a chance of running into him there. :)
Per usual, Jon Wolter and I had a delightful lunch and I took home left-overs for breakfast.
Finally, I worked out, we did laundry and I worked on some promotional stuff.
I was trying to stay up as late as possible tonight since my call/shoot time tomorrow starts at 11:00pm and goes until about 5:00am.
I'm nervous. I am really glad the first scenes I'm in are fairly "tame" emotionally. Julian, the director, really does an amazing job getting everyone comfortable before committing anything to camera. It's helpful as an actor to know he has our back. Yet, I'm feeling worried.
I've lost a bunch of weight, (ok, not a lot of actual weight, but my body has changed a lot and I look healthier) but will it look ok on camera? Will I look fat? I'm so nervous. I don't want to look like hell.
Ugh. I gotta snap outta this line of thinking. I'm just nervous. He hired me 7 pounds ago. He liked me enough then. So, I'm looking even better now. Right? Ok. Enough pep talk. I got this.
Tomorrow's post may come late on Monday since we've got an all-night shoot. But it will be here. No question. :)
Today's Goal: Workout and get part one of the checklist done for the film = SUCCESS
Tomorrow's Goal: Get in some cardio and get sleep during the day!
Calories Consumed: 1142
Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm up
40 minutes jog/run
(2 sets of 20 push-ups - 6 sets of 10 push-ups)
8 minutes cool-down/stretch
Strength Training:
1 set of Pilates 100
100 regular crunches
100 reverse crunches
100 oblique crunches (both sides)
100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Day 46 - Recovery and Domesticated
Thursday, January 7, 2010
So today was my recovery day for this week. I always feel leary of taking a recovery day the day before a weigh-in but I knew I needed it. Besides, Jon and I had a ton of domestic crap to do around the house. One of which was vacuum. Oh lord, it is not fun trying to do ab and strength training and stretching on our awful carpet, especially when it needs to be vacuumed!
Jon made a great dinner and we pretty much took it easy most of the evening. It was a fairly uneventful day all around. Work was only slightly stressful, so all in all it was a good day to rest.
I would have liked to have gotten in all my water, but that didn't happen. I also realized I've been forgetting to take my multivitamin again! ARGH! I have to get better about that. I think it adds to my exhaustion.
Today's Goal: Get some domestic things done. Take the day as recovery. Drink my water. 80 oz.
Success/Fail (got the domestic stuff done, took the day as recovery, only drank 60 oz)
Tomorrow's Goal: take my multivitamin
Calories Consumed: 1051
Workout: None - recovery
So today was my recovery day for this week. I always feel leary of taking a recovery day the day before a weigh-in but I knew I needed it. Besides, Jon and I had a ton of domestic crap to do around the house. One of which was vacuum. Oh lord, it is not fun trying to do ab and strength training and stretching on our awful carpet, especially when it needs to be vacuumed!
Jon made a great dinner and we pretty much took it easy most of the evening. It was a fairly uneventful day all around. Work was only slightly stressful, so all in all it was a good day to rest.
I would have liked to have gotten in all my water, but that didn't happen. I also realized I've been forgetting to take my multivitamin again! ARGH! I have to get better about that. I think it adds to my exhaustion.
Today's Goal: Get some domestic things done. Take the day as recovery. Drink my water. 80 oz.
Success/Fail (got the domestic stuff done, took the day as recovery, only drank 60 oz)
Tomorrow's Goal: take my multivitamin
Calories Consumed: 1051
Workout: None - recovery
Friday, January 1, 2010
Day 39 - New Years Eve and Recovery
Thursday, December 31, 2009
So today is New Years Eve! Work sucked. There was a problem with security in the mail room and towards the end of my day I was stressed and dealing with building issues. It was not a pretty day to start my happy jaunt into 2010.
But like everything else, it ended and I left.
This week has been slightly stressful. I've been waiting on some news that I wasn't able to get until 4pm today. The news would either be a relief or potentially bad. Upon arriving home I got the news and, thankfully, it was GOOD news!
But, the week of stressing, I think, caused me to have mild setbacks in my weight-loss. I've been working on staying unstressed as often as possible. Trying different tactics to keep my anxiety down and keep myself on an even keel. It's worked some of the time. But this week it just wasn't my week.
I will be blown away if the scale shows a loss of any kind tomorrow. Blown away.
Mostly because of a few factors:
1. I have been stressed.
2. I have been emotional.
3. I was not as awesome on my salt intake as I could have been
4. I upped my weights to 12 lbs for somethings which means muscle is growing
All of these factors could contribute to the scale.
I've been feeling bloated too. But I know that's to be expected here and there. All I can do is just keep up my weekly routine and trust that my body is changing even if the scale isn't showing it.
I expect setbacks, I am just trying to not feel like a failure when they happen. Although, they haven't happened yet. Tomorrow will tell exactly how/if I need to improve.
As far as doing a workout, I decided that Jon and I haven't had a night where we can just relax and watch a movie. So we did. I chose to make this day a complete recovery day. NO WORKOUT. We did our laundry and just decided to kick back, watch a movie and then wait for midnight!
It was a blast! Perfect evening.
Today's Goal: Do 3 2 minutes sprints = FAIL (well, because today became recovery day)
Tomorrow's Goal: Jump back into the workout again adding the 12 lbs to the upper body
Calories Consumed: 1206
Workout = NONE (recovery)
Here's to a brand new year! Yay for 2010! I get to get married this year!!!!!! :)
So today is New Years Eve! Work sucked. There was a problem with security in the mail room and towards the end of my day I was stressed and dealing with building issues. It was not a pretty day to start my happy jaunt into 2010.
But like everything else, it ended and I left.
This week has been slightly stressful. I've been waiting on some news that I wasn't able to get until 4pm today. The news would either be a relief or potentially bad. Upon arriving home I got the news and, thankfully, it was GOOD news!
But, the week of stressing, I think, caused me to have mild setbacks in my weight-loss. I've been working on staying unstressed as often as possible. Trying different tactics to keep my anxiety down and keep myself on an even keel. It's worked some of the time. But this week it just wasn't my week.
I will be blown away if the scale shows a loss of any kind tomorrow. Blown away.
Mostly because of a few factors:
1. I have been stressed.
2. I have been emotional.
3. I was not as awesome on my salt intake as I could have been
4. I upped my weights to 12 lbs for somethings which means muscle is growing
All of these factors could contribute to the scale.
I've been feeling bloated too. But I know that's to be expected here and there. All I can do is just keep up my weekly routine and trust that my body is changing even if the scale isn't showing it.
I expect setbacks, I am just trying to not feel like a failure when they happen. Although, they haven't happened yet. Tomorrow will tell exactly how/if I need to improve.
As far as doing a workout, I decided that Jon and I haven't had a night where we can just relax and watch a movie. So we did. I chose to make this day a complete recovery day. NO WORKOUT. We did our laundry and just decided to kick back, watch a movie and then wait for midnight!
It was a blast! Perfect evening.
Today's Goal: Do 3 2 minutes sprints = FAIL (well, because today became recovery day)
Tomorrow's Goal: Jump back into the workout again adding the 12 lbs to the upper body
Calories Consumed: 1206
Workout = NONE (recovery)
Here's to a brand new year! Yay for 2010! I get to get married this year!!!!!! :)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Day 11 - Uneasy and the Dreaded Week 2
Thursday, December 3rd
So today I am totally exhausted! I thought I was tired yesterday. I was wrong. I can only imagine that my wonderful body is fighting off something. I have no real reason to be this exhausted so I will appreciate what my body is telling me and take today as my recovery day.
This scares me.
I HATE taking a recovery day. I feel like I'm "slacking off" or "falling into a bad habit". Now, I know it's necessary to take 1 day off a week. I know it's bad for my body and the weight loss to NOT take a day off. Yet, I can't get that stupid voice out of my head saying, "Don't be lazy, Ali. You should be working out right now. Come on, it's not that bad. You're not that tired! You barely did anything yesterday. You're pathetic". And so on.
So I'm trying to tell that voice to shut the hell up.
This is a constant battle with sleep, as well. When I was in school I kept telling myself that sleep was for the weak. The more I stayed up and studied the better I would be. I could be "the best that I could be" which, of course, was still never good enough for me. I was never satisfied with myself and my accomplishments.
Well, here I am. Feeling the same way with the same uneasy energy. So I'm changing my behavior. I'm going to tell myself that I deserve a day off. I need a day off. And I am WORTHY of a day off.
Me: Self?
Self: Yeah?
Me: I'm taking my recovery day today.
Self: Really?
Me: Yes. I get one recovery day a week and I need it today. So I'm taking it.
Self: Think that's such a good idea?
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
Self: Well, if that's what you think you should do...
Me: Yes. It is. I am worthy of this day off.
Self: Well, Me, I think you're right.
Me: Um, you do??
Self: Yes, Me. You've been working your butt off. There's no rule that says you should take your recovery day on a weekend or anything else. I know you. I trust you. You made sure the rest of the week was laid out in a way so you could take today off. So go for it. I support you, Me.
Me: Wow! Thanks Self. I feel so supported!
Self: Anytime, Me. Anytime.
Considering tomorrow is a weigh-in day this was definitely a risky choice. Also, this is the dreaded WEEK 2! Notoriously week 2 of a workout plan can be brutal. Often people lose very little (after a large loss the week before), or they stay the same or even gain! It can be very demoralizing. But, as we all know, the scale is not the only measure of success. In fact, I did some costume hunting yesterday for the film and I am consistently in a size smaller! So regardless of what the scale says, my body is shrinking!
Also, I have muscle definition in my arms! It's so cool to look at them! I love feeling the muscle and I can't wait until they get more defined! Yay!
Today's Goal: well it was to stretch after my work out... so I guess that's not yet a success
Tomorrow's Goal: Workout - (and then stretch!)
Calories Consumed: 870 (I know it's low. Remember I didn't burn any off today, though)
Workout: NONE - recovery day
Tomorrow is going to be a rough day.
First: Weigh-in!
Second: I have a memorial for my beloved teacher, Kristin Spangler who passed away from breast cancer. :( I plan to work out before this so I am not bursting into tears while trying to do invisible jump rope!
Third: Jon's company has their holiday party, so temptations will be at a high...
Lots of challenges tomorrow, but I'm up for it.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Day 2 - a little nervous
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
So this is Day 2 of my journey to a fitter and better me. And, honestly, I really really really hope the effort is going to pay off. I am working a temp job this week. (Mon, Tues, and Wed) from 8:30am - 12:30pm. It's a great gig because the phone hardly rings and I'm in an office completely alone. However, usually when I temp in these situations I have internet access. Well, the IT guys didn't get me a log-in or set me up so I'm unable to update my blog or do any "work" I might do in another situation.
So I've been reading.
I brought 2 books in with me (I'm nearly finished with the first one so I wanted a back-up). It's been really great getting to read and get paid, but I feel "schlubby". I mean, it's the most inactive thing I could do, just sitting and reading! I'm trying to find a way to not beat myself up (what I'd have done in the past), for enjoying a little quiet time and utilizing it by reading.
And let's be honest, if Ii were on the internet I wouldn't be doing anything "active" either. Typing? Can't burn a whole lot of calories typing. So, yeah. I think it goes a bit deeper than "not being active". I think it's the idea that I shouldn't be enjoying or getting any pleasure out of life when "there's work to be done". It's a very difficult thing for me to find a balance with. I want to believe I'm worthy of time to read rather than feeling like I'm "sneaking it in". I want to enjoy my life and give more back. I know I can't be anything good to anyone until I'm being good to myself. But it's so difficult, sometimes.
What's really got me nervous? Thanksgiving dinner. I can only control what I make and what I put in my mouth. How do I deal with other people's food? Plus, I'm pretty much a pescatarian (vegetarian who eats fish). It's not an easy thing to do on Thanksgiving. I am hoping for a salad. Or something I can eat other than the mildly healthy green bean casserole I'm making... Again, a process. I will find the balance on Thursday. But today, I'm going to try and focus on today.
My goal today was to drink 60 oz of water in those first 4 hours I was working at the office. I went to the bathroom 5 times (!) before I left but I DID IT! I drank my 60 oz there and then drank another 36 oz at home today! I DEFINITELY got my hydration in for the day!
I'm incredibly proud of that.
My goal tomorrow: Drink at least 60 oz of water in the first 4 hours and do some leg-lifts at the desk if I can get away with it.
Calories consumed: 1,193
Workout: 100 push ups (on my toes!!!), 100 plie squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 pulsed plie squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 regular squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 pulsed regular squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 regular crunches, 100 reverse crunches, 100 obliques (each side), 20 minutes of fast-paced cardio (running in place, tires, football drills, high kicks, butt kicks)
So this is Day 2 of my journey to a fitter and better me. And, honestly, I really really really hope the effort is going to pay off. I am working a temp job this week. (Mon, Tues, and Wed) from 8:30am - 12:30pm. It's a great gig because the phone hardly rings and I'm in an office completely alone. However, usually when I temp in these situations I have internet access. Well, the IT guys didn't get me a log-in or set me up so I'm unable to update my blog or do any "work" I might do in another situation.
So I've been reading.
I brought 2 books in with me (I'm nearly finished with the first one so I wanted a back-up). It's been really great getting to read and get paid, but I feel "schlubby". I mean, it's the most inactive thing I could do, just sitting and reading! I'm trying to find a way to not beat myself up (what I'd have done in the past), for enjoying a little quiet time and utilizing it by reading.
And let's be honest, if Ii were on the internet I wouldn't be doing anything "active" either. Typing? Can't burn a whole lot of calories typing. So, yeah. I think it goes a bit deeper than "not being active". I think it's the idea that I shouldn't be enjoying or getting any pleasure out of life when "there's work to be done". It's a very difficult thing for me to find a balance with. I want to believe I'm worthy of time to read rather than feeling like I'm "sneaking it in". I want to enjoy my life and give more back. I know I can't be anything good to anyone until I'm being good to myself. But it's so difficult, sometimes.
What's really got me nervous? Thanksgiving dinner. I can only control what I make and what I put in my mouth. How do I deal with other people's food? Plus, I'm pretty much a pescatarian (vegetarian who eats fish). It's not an easy thing to do on Thanksgiving. I am hoping for a salad. Or something I can eat other than the mildly healthy green bean casserole I'm making... Again, a process. I will find the balance on Thursday. But today, I'm going to try and focus on today.
My goal today was to drink 60 oz of water in those first 4 hours I was working at the office. I went to the bathroom 5 times (!) before I left but I DID IT! I drank my 60 oz there and then drank another 36 oz at home today! I DEFINITELY got my hydration in for the day!
I'm incredibly proud of that.
My goal tomorrow: Drink at least 60 oz of water in the first 4 hours and do some leg-lifts at the desk if I can get away with it.
Calories consumed: 1,193
Workout: 100 push ups (on my toes!!!), 100 plie squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 pulsed plie squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 regular squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 pulsed regular squats (with 8 lb weights), 100 regular crunches, 100 reverse crunches, 100 obliques (each side), 20 minutes of fast-paced cardio (running in place, tires, football drills, high kicks, butt kicks)
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