Day 68 - Weigh-in week #10 and Taking it slow

Friday, January 29, 2010

So today was a weigh-in day!  AND, I was coming off of feeling like complete crap so I wasn't sure what the heck I would find on the scale.  I had been away from any workout for 2 days.  This was not a great thing.  Plus, the last weigh-in had happened on last Saturday giving me only 6 days to lose instead of 7.  But, on to the scale I went.

I LOST 1.8 lbs!!!  WOOO HOOO!!!!!

That was a great way to start the day.  Let me tell you!

To date I have now lost 8.6 lbs!

I really hope this continues!  I am really trying to keep this thing going.  I love the changes and how much stronger I am and how much stronger I feel!

Today I really took it easy and didn't do too much.  I worked out for a short amount of time and got a little nauseated while doing it.  I guess I need to be careful I don't relapse.  It's just so hard when I see such a great number on the scale!  It makes me want to kick it into high gear.

I know, I gotta listen to my body.

Jon and I have a HUGE to-do list we are trying to get to this weekend.  I hope we can tackle most of it tomorrow so we have a quieter Sunday.

I'm bummed because I don't film this weekend like it had originally been planned.  Locations had to be revamped and that, of course, revamped the schedule.

Oh well.  I'm on next weekend so I have to stay healthy.

Yay for good scale days!

Today's Goal: Take it easy = moderate Success (I did work out but kept it light and easy...)

Tomorrow's Goal: try to do full cardio and light abs if I can

Calories Consumed: 1098

Workout:
       Cardio:
           3 minutes warm up
           30 minutes jog/run
          (1 - 10 minute sprint)
            5 minute cool-down

Day 58 - Celebration and appreciation

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

So today is my oldest friend, Kathleen's, birthday.  I've known K since I was 9 years old.  We went to a performing arts camp together at the park district and became fast friends.  We then ended up performing in a group called "Traveling Troupe" which performed all over Chicago.  The ages of the performers were 12 - 14.  THEN, we both ended up at Interlochen Arts Academy for high school.

It feels like we've known each other forever.  :)  I'm grateful for that friendship.

She is having a small gathering of people at The Cheesecake Factory this evening.  We are all headed out to celebrate her birthday.

I'm very excited to see her.  She lives in New York but often travels all over for work.  She's a dancer/actress/singer and often gets shows in Florida and Vegas.  She's a busy girl!

My biggest challenge:  making sure I watch my portions and not feeling guilty about the drink(s) I consume.

Cheesecake does offer a fantastic herb-crusted salmon with a huge salad.  I believe I will definitely get that and put the dressing on the side.  Then I'll for sure have leftovers to take home.

I did my workout earlier today.  I had a tough time with cardio.  I just couldn't get my body working. But I got something in, and that's what counts.

Today's Goal: Get that water in = SUCCESS/FAIL (I think I got in about 60 oz but counteracted it with the alcohol...)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get some work done with Carrie (my sister-in-law) and get 40 min. cardio

Calories Consumed: 1132

Workout:
         Cardio:
              3 minutes warm-up
              30 minutes jog/run
             (1 - 5 minute sprint)
              8 minutes cool-down/stretch

        Strength Training:
              50 push ups
             100 regular crunches
             100 reverse crunches
             100 oblique crunches (both sides)

Day 55 - Filming and Sleeping

Saturday, January 16, 2010

So today we have a very crazy turn-around time for our filming.  Off the set at 3:00 PM and back on the set at 1:30 AM for hair and make-up.  So exhausted.  Must sleep.

No workout today.  Only sleep.

Better post tomorrow.

Today's Goal: be careful at craft services = SUCCESS (only ate fruit and eggs and veggies)

Tomorrow's Goal: try to get more water in

Calories Consumed: ???  Approx 1200?

Workout: NONE (sleep for a quick turn-over time)

Day 51 - Time and Money

Tuesday, January 13, 2010

So today was a much better day.  I got in a great workout and felt like things were mostly back on track.

I know a lot of my sleep issues are due to the fact that Jon and I have an absolutely hideous mattress.  It was never meant to be our full-time mattress but it's all we have at the moment.

We're saving every penny we can to just get to go on a honeymoon.  Also, I'm really revving up the promoting of my voiceover demos so any extra money I make has been going into that.

* www.aligoodmanvo.com


Throughout my whole life I've never had just one interest.  I've been a jack of all trades, master of none.  I've decided to change that vision.  I want to stop all the desperate attempts to "get" somewhere.  I am just putting my focus into my interests.  In the future I am totally open to them changing but, for now, I have to stop just shooting myself in the foot.

This is why I am heavily focusing on film and voiceover.  I'm not leaving theatre, altogether, but it's not where my interests are lying these days.  For the first time in my life, I'm ok with that.

Time is what I am lacking.  Time and money.  I've been putting off seeing friends and family so I can focus on me and my goals.  It's taken a toll on my mental state.  I miss my friends.  I tend to have hermit-tendencies.  So this week and a bit of next week I made sure to make firm plans with friends and family so I HAVE to get out of the house and schedule myself better.

Now, of course, I'm freaking out about the time I'm spending away from those things I have to do!

Balance.  Right?  BALANCE.

Got to get a bit better on my water.  I only got in about 50 oz today.  It was not enough.

Working on wedding stuff tomorrow with Mom. Would love to really get some things off of THAT list!

Today's Goal: back into the workout routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: DRINK WATER!  And be careful at dinner.

Calories Consumed: 1095

Workout:
        Cardio:
            3 minutes warm-up
            40 minutes jog/run/shadow box/kicks
           (1 - 10 minute sprint; 2 - 1 minute skaters)
            8 minutes cool-down/stretch

        Strength Training:
            60 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
            50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
            50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
            50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
            50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)

Day 50 - Listening to my body and trusting my body

Monday, January 11, 2010

So today was a day I did nothing.  Seriously.  I did nothing.  I slept in pretty late.  Considering shooting finished at about 5:00am this morning, I realized I needed to rest.

Jon and I had a bunch of errands to run after he went to work.

We did none of them.

As a matter of fact, he hadn't been feeling well all weekend, so he took the day off and just rested too.  I don't think we left the bed for more than 30 minutes.  We were both exhausted and just needed a reboot.

I had planned to get up and workout later in the day.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

I just couldn't get the energy up.

So, I guess today became a recovery day.

I'm trying to give myself some latitude.  I know being up all night and changing my sleep schedule can mess me up for a while.  When I worked at 4:00am at Starbucks I'd have to go to sleep at 9:00pm to be able to function the next day.  Then after being cut I'd have to go home and take a nap.  I was always tired.

I know I've been on a great track working out almost 6 days a week every week.  I don't want to get off-track.  It's so easy to just let myself "take a day".  I don't want to fall back into a bad habit.

I'm learning to just trust myself and my body.  I do feel better knowing I've worked out, so the rush I get from having DONE my workout will help me keep up the good habit, right?  And when I do need a break because my schedule is making me exhausted, I just need to give myself that time to rest.  I need to trust myself a little more.

It's hard to do that.  Especially when I've "failed" myself so many times before with my workouts.  I tend to come back but it's usually after a long break and the inconsistency yields little results.

But, I trust myself this time.  This time I am using only me (and YOU via this blog).  I'm not using any gimmicks or helpful things other than my desire to live my best life.

So, today I forgive myself and move on.  Tomorrow is another day.

Today's Goal: Drink at least 60 oz of water and take my multi-vitamin = Fail/SUCCESS (I think I drank 40 - 50 oz...maybe )

Tomorrow's Goal: Back on the workout schedule - cardio and weights and use BL9* to really motivate me if I need it.

Calories Consumed: 901

Workout: NONE = recovery

*BL9 = The Biggest Loser season 9 - GREAT motivator!

Day 45 - Overwhelmed and Under-funded

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

So today started out ok.  Work was a bit stressful but nothing that felt so awful I couldn't handle it.  That was good.

I spent a good portion of the day mapping out my plans for the next few months, mentally.  I guess it would make more sense to write these things down.  But, I have this weird inability to write something down unless I really know I can/will get to it.  Some of these things I've "mapped" are just abstract ideas/hopes.  To write them down cements them in a way I'm not necessarily ready for.

One of the things I had time to work on was our honeymoon.  My sister-in-law's mom is a travel agent.  A really good one.  She helped get my cousin and his wife a spectacular 7-day honeymoon for a fantastic price. I'm hoping she can do the same for us!  She and I have played email tag for a while and she threw out some great ideas but then asked the question: "So what is your budget"?

Um.

Yeah...

Um.

We don't have one? 

We are very slowly putting money into savings.  We have sacrificed some things in order to have SOME kind of savings.  It's very tough when we are paying off student loans, bills, etc. and STILL can't make ends meet each month.  But slowly and surely we are working it out.


But we definitely don't have enough in savings for a honeymoon.

Yet.

I threw out an arbitrary number in hopes it would be enough to get what we want.

I just hope we only have to put 1/2 the money down.  That we could cover!  The rest, well, we'll have to do some more saving for that!

By the time I got home I was freezing and exhausted.  Jon had had a horrible day at work and was really stressed out.  I pushed myself to do my workouts (watched a great episode of the West Wing) but my brain/heart etc. wasn't really into it.

It's weird. I seem to have one day on that's a good workout day. Energized, feeling good, etc.  And then the next day is just off! I'm exhausted and unable to complete all tasks.  The ping-pong effect is frustrating and tiresome.  By the time I'd finished my workout and showered, I was worn out!  And it didn't help that Jon and I realized we have so much to do before I start filming this weekend.  There's a lot of domestic crap on our plates.

One task at a time, I guess.  Trying to stay "whelmed" instead of overwhelmed.

Today's Goal: Do a full workout = Success/Fail. (I did all the components of the full work out, but my cardio was lacking in time)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get some domestic things done. Take the day as recovery.  Drink my water. 80 oz.

Calories Consumed: 1020

Workout:
        Cardio:
             3 minutes warm up
             30 minutes jog/run
            (7 intervals of push-ups -- 5 - 10 push-ups/ 2 - 20 push-ups)
             8 minutes cool down/stretch

         Strength Training:
              100 push-ups
              100 regular crunches
              100 reverse crunches
              100 oblique crunches (each side)
              100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
              100 plie pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)

Day 43 - Fatigue and Breathing

Monday, January 4, 2010

So today just felt like a day of failure.  I know it wasn't that bad but it sure felt like it.  I was exhausted at work and felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything.  I kept getting phone calls and getting caught in situations I am not equipped to handle and feeling like a jerk because I had to continually say, "I'm sorry but Paul will be back in the office on Monday, January 11th. He will be able to help you then". 

Nothing frustrates me more than not having answers or a resource for my answers when working in a job.  I love the alone-factor except when I don't have anyone to call in case of a situation I can't readily deal with.  I do have a supervisor and he's really nice, but he doesn't know the ins and outs of the job so he can't easily assist me on most things.  I've found myself having to bother Paul in Poland while he's on vacation way more than I ever wanted to. 

By the time Jon Wolter showed up, (he gets off at 4:30 and this office is in walking distance to his office so I give him a ride home), I was absolutely ready to get out of dodge. 

I was actually looking forward to and dreading my pending workout.

Looking forward to it because:

• I often get a nice boost of energy once I begin
• I was planning on watching the West Wing while doing cardio (yay)
• It wasn't being at work!

Dreading it because:

• I was completely exhausted
• It's a WORKOUT - it's not usually altogether the most fun time I've had
• It's a mental game - and that is also exhausting
• It's nearly impossible to workout at home and not notice how cluttered our apartment is

I turned on the West Wing and began the cardio, like normal.  But nothing, I mean NOTHING I did was making this workout happen for me.  I was running slower, I was mentally not there.  I tried gearing myself up, I tried infusing push-ups in the middle of the cardio to give me some sweat and a boost, change it up.  Nope.  By the time I hit 30 minutes I knew I had very little left in me.  I eked out 35 minutes and I had had it.  So I ended the workout.

I did stretch and cool down.  I was definitely feeling disappointed in myself but, seriously, my body was telling me, "This is all I've got today.  I'll give you what I have when I have it.  This is what you get today.  Put me to bed soon, please."

I decided to just breathe.

Recently I've increasingly become interested in the different types of meditation.  I have a brain that doesn't shut up or quiet down, easily.  So usually a guided meditation is a better type for me.  However, I decided to take 2 minutes and just breathe.  I sat on the floor, closed my eyes and breathed.  It was quite refreshing, although my brain wouldn't keep still.  I concentrated on my breath and just focused on relaxing my muscles and feeling the stress drain away.

It was lovely.  I finished up by doing 1/2 of the abs I normally do and just didn't even consider the legs.  Once done, I crawled into a bath and Jon was making dinner.  I got out and we watched one of my new favorite shows, Men of a Certain Age on TNT.  There were a few Rocky references in the show and with one of them they show a similar image from the film where Rocky is standing with his arms up in the air. 

I realized, tomorrow will be a better day.

Today's Goal: drink 80 oz of water = FAIL (I drank 60 oz )

Tomorrow's Goal: drink 80 oz of water. Yup I'm throwing it back in there.  Tomorrow is a different day.

Calories Consumed: 1192

Workout:
        Cardio: 
             3 minutes warm-up
             35 minute jog/run/skaters
            (3 - 1 minute sprints)
             8 minutes cool down stretch

        Strength Training:
             100 push ups
             50 regular crunches
             50 reverse crunches
             50 oblique crunches (each side)

Day 39 - New Years Eve and Recovery

Thursday, December 31, 2009

So today is New Years Eve!  Work sucked.  There was a problem with security in the mail room and towards the end of my day I was stressed and dealing with building issues.  It was not a pretty day to start my happy jaunt into 2010.

But like everything else, it ended and I left.

This week has been slightly stressful.  I've been waiting on some news that I wasn't able to get until 4pm today.  The news would either be a relief or potentially bad.  Upon arriving home I got the news and, thankfully, it was GOOD news!

But, the week of stressing, I think, caused me to have mild setbacks in my weight-loss.  I've been working on staying unstressed as often as possible.  Trying different tactics to keep my anxiety down and keep myself on an even keel.  It's worked some of the time.   But this week it just wasn't my week.

I will be blown away if the scale shows a loss of any kind tomorrow.  Blown away.

Mostly because of a few factors:
1. I have been stressed.
2. I have been emotional.
3. I was not as awesome on my salt intake as I could have been
4. I upped my weights to 12 lbs for somethings which means muscle is growing

All of these factors could contribute to the scale.

I've been feeling bloated too.  But I know that's to be expected here and there.  All I can do is just keep up my weekly routine and trust that my body is changing even if the scale isn't showing it.

I expect setbacks, I am just trying to not feel like a failure when they happen.  Although, they haven't happened yet.  Tomorrow will tell exactly how/if I need to improve.

As far as doing a workout, I decided that Jon and I haven't had a night where we can just relax and watch a movie.  So we did.  I chose to make this day a complete recovery day.  NO WORKOUT.  We did our laundry and just decided to kick back, watch a movie and then wait for midnight!

It was a blast!  Perfect evening.

Today's Goal:  Do 3 2 minutes sprints = FAIL (well, because today became recovery day)

Tomorrow's Goal:  Jump back into the workout again adding the 12 lbs to the upper body

Calories Consumed: 1206

Workout = NONE (recovery)

Here's to a brand new year!  Yay for 2010!  I get to get married this year!!!!!! :)

Day 38 - Energy and Competition

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

So today I rolled out of bed with minutes to spare to get to work.  I don't know how it happened!  Thank goodness I'd packed my lunch the day before because I needed any extra moments to feed the dog and grab my stuff together before nearly being late. 

As it happened, I forgot to bring utensils for my lunch and snacks.  This wasn't as awful as it could have been since Jon'd made these personal gluten-free 8" pizza's last night.  I ate 1/2 of mine, thinking I'd bring the other half for lunch.  This was, essentially, finger food so that wasn't too bad.  I just couldn't eat my greenbeans nor could I eat the veggie casserole.  Thankfully I had 2 oranges.  Ah!  Food you can eat with your hands, solely!

It sufficed. 

I drank a ton of water today too.  80 oz!! :)

So, my energy has been sort of blech lately.  I don't drink coffee and I really try to eat clean, healthy food, but for some reason I'm not feeling the pep.  Although, I feel less "sluggish" than when I wasn't watching my portions or eating anything I wanted.   So I'm not sure if its too little on calories or too little on protein or something.  I'm just not certain where it lies.  It's like I have to "rev up" to do my workouts.  And I do get them done, they just feel like they are often endless!

I have noticed when I am in a competition, I will try and do my best to win.  Especially if I enjoy the activity or enjoy the "battle".  A good example of this would be the game Cribbage.  I like that game. I like games in general.  However, I think because it's just for fun, I don't get emotionally involved.  I used to.  But, what irks me is the competitive nature of some of my friends.  I find it can get in the way of my journey.  I'm fairly supportive of someone when they are trying to accomplish something.  I send out love and strength and kind words.  However, I'm noticing there are people who are incredibly supportive and I really thank them for their awesome words of encouragement.  They mean THE WORLD to me. But others have made less-than-supportive comments like, "Oh now, why would you need to lose weight"?  Or, "Don't become anorexic!" Or, "Don't make me pig out alone!" Sometimes they just press me for information (like wanting to know the number of my actual weight), which make my instincts perk up and ask why they want to know?  Why is that particular information relevant?

Now, I don't want to say these people are all toxic or bad. I think I've gotten rid of those types of people long ago.  But as far as feeling comfortable with disclosure on information or process or what have you, I find I'm playing close to the vest. 

Upon discussing the idea of competition, I notice these people to be proud of their competitive nature.  And I think some competition is healthy.  Some. I think some competition is destructive.  I don't want to feel compelled to compare weight/size/calories.  I think it breeds a bad ground for support and love.  Can't we all just agree we're on our own journey?  It's not about who got there first but that we all get there at our own time?

I know I'm unique in that I'm blogging, daily, about this approach.  I guess, along with the personal demons I face I also have to learn how to handle the other people in my life.

The one thing about getting involved with the self, is it makes it easy to not make time for everyone else.  That was my modus operandi.  But, balance is the key.  Time for me AND time for others. 

I know I'll accomplish this.  It just feels awkward so far.  Sort of like a puppy with big feet trying to negotiate walking/running.

On the really plus side:  I moved to doing 12 lbs each hand for all my leg squats!! :)

Today's Goal: Get back in the workout routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Do three 2 minute sprints for cardio

Calories Consumed:  1148

Workout:
         Cardio:
              3 minutes warm up
              42 minutes jog/run/kick/invis.jump rope
              (4- 2 minute sprints)
              8 minutes cool down/stretch

        Strength Training:
               50 push ups
               Slim in 6pack abs routine - 11 min
               100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 pulsed plie squats (12 lbs each hand)

Day 37 - Marketing and Skype

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So today was my last late day at this job.  On Tuesdays, the manager usually works from 11am - 7pm.  They didn't bother to tell me that when I was hired for the job.  I worked it out so I did come in 11-7 last Tuesday and this one.  But next week, I am working 9-5 all 5 days.  Getting off on the schedule has messed up my sleep patterns.

Case in point:  Today!

I got up early to do my cardio.  I was pretty darn exhausted but I made it through.  I rediscovered TLC on our basic cable network and got pathetically sucked into "Toddlers and Tiaras".  Wow.  Just, wow.  Why do these people even HAVE kids?  They should just get dolls and dress them up!  But I digress...

So I busted out the cardio and quickly showered, got my food together, fed the dog, made the bed, etc. and ran out of the house to START my 8 hour work day. 

While I was there the day felt ENDLESS.  The only thing that got me through was using the time after 5pm as a chance to work on marketing for my voice over demos.  I am preparing to send out the postcards and I'm thrilled to start this process!  It's taken a LOT of preparation, but I know it will work out in the end.  I just have to keep at it.  :)

So accomplishing a lot of that was very helpful to my mood.  It wasn't, however, very helpful for my exhaustion!  By the time I arrived home, wonderful Jon Wolter had cleaned the rabbit hutch and the chinchilla hutch, alone.  I felt terrible not helping him but I was so tired I just wanted to crawl into bed!  I decided I would just suck it up and make today a cardio only day and jump back in tomorrow.  Sometimes you just have to allow your body to tell you what it needs.

After dinner, Jon got "Skyped" by our buddy Jon Taie in Boston.  It was really nice to see him.  Yay for new technology!  We laughed a lot and joked about the wedding and him coming to that.  It was a blast.  I ended up saying goodnight around 10:30pm.  I was hoping a good night's sleep would be in the cards for me!

Today's Goal: Get the cardio done before work - SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Jump back in the workout routine - abs/legs tomorrow

Calories Consumed - 987

Workout:
      Cardio:
           3 minutes warm up
           40 minutes jog/run/kick/shadow boxing/invis. jump rope
           4 - 1 minute jump/sprints

      Strength Training: NONE

Day 36 - Temping and Tired

Monday, December 28, 2009

So today was back to the temp job.  It's been ok so far.  Not too difficult, although I tend to get frustrated when I don't have answers to questions.  I like being able to solve problems and often I feel like I'm bugging people with the answers more than I "should" because I've encountered something I'm just not equipped to deal with. 

But, I don't want that to preclude me from being asked back to work here again.  The money is decent and the work isn't awful.  Again, I do like that I'm pretty much by myself and there's no one looking over my shoulder.  As exhausting as the work can sometimes be, I do MUCH better by myself.

I found myself in a frustrating situation when I received a call from my supervisor who works at the main office in the city.  Here's how the conversation started:

Supervisor:  "Hello Ali, how was your Christmas?"

Me: "Oh it was great, thanks!  How was yours?"

Supervisor: "It was good.  Look, Ali, you have to keep the office door open."

Me: stunned silence "Um...oh! Ok.  Sorry I--"

Supervisor: "Yeah, the residents are calling to complain the door is closed and they don't know you are open"

Me: "Oh, wow, I'm sorry.  I actually put a note on the door that says, "PLEASE KNOCK. WE ARE OPEN"

Supervisor: "Yeah, I need you to keep it open, regardless"

Me: "Oh well, sorry, I mean, it gets really cold in this office and [the manager] said during training it was ok to do that as long as I put up a note saying we were here and open.  But that's ok, I'll just leave the door open"

Supervisor: "Oh. It's cold?"

Me: "Yeah, that's the only reason the door's been closed.  I have only left the office twice.  To go to the bathroom."

Supervisor: "Well, can you keep the door propped open a little?"

Me: "Yeah, sure, no problem.  I'll just deal with it.  No worries."

Supervisor: "Thank you."

So, yeah, that is just an inkling of how the day went.  I was here until 5:30 (I'm usually off at 5pm) dealing with a stupid issue.  UGH! 

By the time I got home I was in NO MOOD to work out.  But I did.  I think I got about 68oz of water in.  So that's good, I guess. I was shooting for 80 but it wasn't in the cards.

I also had to truncate my cardio.  I was beat. 

BUT!!!  We bought 12 lb weights this weekend and I added them in to my upper body routine!  And tomorrow I'll add them to the lower!  YAY!

Fingers crossed for an uneventful rest of the week!

Today's Goal: Drink more water = SUCCESS/FAIL (my internal goal was to drink 80 oz.  I didn't quite get there.  But I got about 68oz so that's much better than I've been in previous days.  So I don't feel too awful)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get the cardio done before work. (late starting time at the job)

Calories Consumed: 957

Workout:
      Cardio:
          3 minutes warm-up
          30 minutes jog/run/invisible jump rope/kicks/shadow box
          (4 - 1 minutes sprints)
          8 minutes cool down/stretch

     Strength Training:
         50 push ups
         50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
         20 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
         30 biceps curls (10 lbs each hand)
         20 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
         30 triceps curls (10  lbs each hand)
         20 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)
         30 shoulder press (10 lbs each hand)
         20 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
         30 chest flies (10 lbs each hand)

Day 31 - PMS? and Doc appointments

Wednesday, December 23, 2009



I. Am. Exhausted! I don't know if I'm not getting enough sleep, or the right sleep or the right kind of enough sleep, but I am dragging! It was an epic battle to get me out of bed this morning and get myself even remotely ready for work. I should not have been allowed out the door looking or wearing what I am currently wearing! Luckily, I did not forget to pack a lunch and snacks so I'm all set there.



I'm nervous about my ability to actually work out today. I may just fall into bed fully clothed and fall right back to sleep! I mean, if that's the case, then obviously my body needs it, but I'm feeling like I'm falling behind or something.



I've been irritable. Short-fused. Emotional (well, more than I usually am). I think I might have PMS. Which would account for my moods... BUT, what worries me is the scale. I KNOW it will either stay the same (minor horrors!), or INCREASE (TERRIFYING HORRORS!!!!!). I just have to trust that the scale is not my only means of measurement, (clothing and such) and to trust that once these weeks are over (the PMS and the actual week I menstruate) my body will go back to normal again. Right? RIGHT?????



Ugh. Exhausted AND paranoid.



I've heard that working out when you are PMS'ing is actually helpful. Yeah. I've never found that to be true. I have endometriosis and when the cramps hit, I hit the bed, fetal position, heavy advil and I whine mercilessly.



I'm a terrible patient. Because I'm impatient.



Poor Jon. I hope he doesn't have to deal with a tough month. Usually the worst of it only lasts a day or so. But it's not pleasant, regardless, for either of us. Although he takes it in stride. Good guy that he is. :)



To add to my complaining I'm going to make a freaking doctors list.

Jon and I really need to hit the doc's and I'm making sure that the money I'm making for these 3 weeks is delegated to our health. So...

-Gyno check up - ALI

-Get mammogram - ALI (already called for a prescription)

-Dentist cleaning - JON

-Dentist cleaning - ALI

-Dermatologist - JON

-Dermatologist - ALI

-Eye Doc check up - ALI


Today's Goal: Finish and send out holiday cards = SUCCESS/FAIL (finished them, didn't have enough stamps! Gotta do that tomorrow)


Tomorrow's Goal: Get 80 oz of water in + multi-vitamin


Calories Consumed: 1102


Workout:
Cardio:
3 minutes warm-up
50 minutes jog/run
(6 one-minute sprints)
8 minutes cool-down/stretch


Strength Training:
100 push ups
50 back rows (10 lbs each side)
50 biceps curls (10 lbs each side)
50 triceps curls (10 lbs each side)
50 shoulder press (10 lbs each side)
50 chest flies (10 lbs each side)

Day 24 - On the mend and Ready for work

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

So today I woke up feeling awful, again. This stupid cold is just not being nice! I was really determined to get some workout in, again, today. I was frustrated for 2 days to not do any cardio.

So, I took some Excedrin and hoped the headache would go away. I bargained with myself to just do 5 minutes at a time. If it got to be too much I would stop.

I actually was able to hang on for 15 minutes at first. Then I slowed to 5 minutes at a time until I hit 30 minutes. Then I was pretty exhausted.

I did a bit of weights, not an intense amount but just enough to feel some burn.

Tomorrow I start training for a temp job I'm doing for 3 weeks. I hope it's not too stressful. I'm definitely looking forward to the money but not the work, if you get my drift.

Anyhow, here's to a nice place to work tomorrow without a lot of stress!

Today's Goal: Get in some workout = SUCCESS!

And I took my multi-vitamin (been good about that for 4 days in a row)

Tomorrow's Goal: Get a moderate amount of workout in. Both cardio and weights

Calories Consumed: 903

Workout:

Cardio:

3 minutes (warm-up)

30 minutes (run/jog)

Strength Training:

75 push-ups

30 back rows (15 lbs each side)

30 biceps curls (10 lbs each side)

30 triceps curls (10 lbs each side)

30 shoulder press (10 lbs each side)

30 chest flies (10 lbs each side)

Day 23 - Still sick and exhausted

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

So today I had to get up early to go up to the suburbs. I had a very quick errand and then I planned to come home and workout.

Well.

After my errand I was so exhausted I basically fell asleep for a very long nap. Then Jon came home early and we both slept for a few hours.

This cold is kicking my ass.

I got NO cardio in AGAIN. And I'm just so tired and foggy-headed. Blech!

So, short entry, I guess.

Today's Goal: Get in 10 min of cardio = FAIL (too darned tired and hard to breathe)

Tomorrow's Goal: really watch the calories; try to get some workout in; drink water!

Calories Consumed: 1030

Workout:

Cardio: NONE

Strength Training:

50 regular crunches

50 oblique crunches

50 reverse crunches

2 rounds of the Pilates 100

100 regular squats (10 lbs each side)

100 regular pulsed squats (10 lbs each side)

100 plie squats (10 lbs each side)

100 pulsed plie squats (10 lbs each side)

Day 15 - Vitamins and Vegetables

Monday, December 7, 2009

So, today I realized I had been neglecting taking my multi-vitamin everyday. I am fairly convinced it's why I've been so exhausted lately. Well, I could easily have been fighting something off, also. But I'm going to try and make that a daily goal, as well.

I've found certain vegetables and how they are prepared can be incredibly filling! Jon Wolter made us a veggie casserole with ricotta cheese and all-natural marinara to "hold it together". He made so much of it, I've been eating it for days. And we still have some left! He also made a fantastic zucchini soup (using vegetable broth, low-sodium - and onions). It's fantastic. A 1/2 of a teaspoon of reduced fat sour cream added to the bowl and it needs no other flavoring. Amazing!

This evening we went to see the florist for the wedding. It was AWESOME! I'm so excited for the flowers. Our florist is going to do an AMAZING job and the room will be gorgeous. :)

I'm furiously trying to make a few presents for my family for Christmas/Chanukkah. They are things I've had that I've neglected to make for years. So, why not make them now? :)

I ended up not doing my cardio today. I'm not sure what happened. The day got away from me a little, I think. But, I'm not going to beat myself up. I'll just pick up where I left off tomorrow.

Today's Goal: Add something to my abs routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Take multi-vitamin; add push-ups to strength routine

Calories Consumed: 859

Workout:

Cardio: None

Strength Training:

100 regular crunches

100 reverse crunches

100 oblique crunches (each side)

4 rounds of Pilates 100's

100 regular squats (10 lbs)

100 regular pulsed squats (10 lbs)

100 plie squats (1o lbs)

100 plie pulsed squats (10 lbs)

Day 11 - Uneasy and the Dreaded Week 2

Thursday, December 3rd

So today I am totally exhausted! I thought I was tired yesterday. I was wrong. I can only imagine that my wonderful body is fighting off something. I have no real reason to be this exhausted so I will appreciate what my body is telling me and take today as my recovery day.

This scares me.

I HATE taking a recovery day. I feel like I'm "slacking off" or "falling into a bad habit". Now, I know it's necessary to take 1 day off a week. I know it's bad for my body and the weight loss to NOT take a day off. Yet, I can't get that stupid voice out of my head saying, "Don't be lazy, Ali. You should be working out right now. Come on, it's not that bad. You're not that tired! You barely did anything yesterday. You're pathetic". And so on.

So I'm trying to tell that voice to shut the hell up.

This is a constant battle with sleep, as well. When I was in school I kept telling myself that sleep was for the weak. The more I stayed up and studied the better I would be. I could be "the best that I could be" which, of course, was still never good enough for me. I was never satisfied with myself and my accomplishments.

Well, here I am. Feeling the same way with the same uneasy energy. So I'm changing my behavior. I'm going to tell myself that I deserve a day off. I need a day off. And I am WORTHY of a day off.

Me: Self?

Self: Yeah?

Me: I'm taking my recovery day today.

Self: Really?

Me: Yes. I get one recovery day a week and I need it today. So I'm taking it.

Self: Think that's such a good idea?

Me: Yes. Yes I do.

Self: Well, if that's what you think you should do...

Me: Yes. It is. I am worthy of this day off.

Self: Well, Me, I think you're right.

Me: Um, you do??

Self: Yes, Me. You've been working your butt off. There's no rule that says you should take your recovery day on a weekend or anything else. I know you. I trust you. You made sure the rest of the week was laid out in a way so you could take today off. So go for it. I support you, Me.

Me: Wow! Thanks Self. I feel so supported!

Self: Anytime, Me. Anytime.

Considering tomorrow is a weigh-in day this was definitely a risky choice. Also, this is the dreaded WEEK 2! Notoriously week 2 of a workout plan can be brutal. Often people lose very little (after a large loss the week before), or they stay the same or even gain! It can be very demoralizing. But, as we all know, the scale is not the only measure of success. In fact, I did some costume hunting yesterday for the film and I am consistently in a size smaller! So regardless of what the scale says, my body is shrinking!

Also, I have muscle definition in my arms! It's so cool to look at them! I love feeling the muscle and I can't wait until they get more defined! Yay!

Today's Goal: well it was to stretch after my work out... so I guess that's not yet a success

Tomorrow's Goal: Workout - (and then stretch!)

Calories Consumed: 870 (I know it's low. Remember I didn't burn any off today, though)

Workout: NONE - recovery day

Tomorrow is going to be a rough day.

First: Weigh-in!

Second: I have a memorial for my beloved teacher, Kristin Spangler who passed away from breast cancer. :( I plan to work out before this so I am not bursting into tears while trying to do invisible jump rope!

Third: Jon's company has their holiday party, so temptations will be at a high...

Lots of challenges tomorrow, but I'm up for it.