Day 63 - Grey's Anatomy and Proud of me

Sunday, January 24, 2010

So today I dove back into the workout with a vengeance.

Normally, when Jon is home and I'm working out, we throw West Wing on.  I love having TV shows on DVD because they are the perfect time to do a cardio workout!  42ish minutes.

Today, though, Jon was sleeping a bit late (he's allowed), so I decided to pop in my newest TV show, Grey's Anatomy.

Ok.  I resisted watching this show.  FULLY resisted.  It sounded kinda dumb, no offense.  But, honestly, I've truly fallen for it.  It's funny and fun and it gets me through my cardio.
*I'm only on episode 4 season 1 so please, no spoilers! ;)

Other than that, Jon and I went to go see my friend and former teacher, Scott's, show at Act One.  He directed a one-act by Horton Foote called Laura Dennis.  It was performed by the first year students (it's a 2 year conservatory).  They are half-way through their first year.  I thought they did a very nice job, considering.  There is some real talent there.  Others have some work to do, but they are really on the right track.  It's lovely to see that. :)

Food shopping and dinner rounded out the night.  We were tired but not sleepy.

I am still feeling a bit stressed and sad about my communication problems with Lisa.  I hope we get a chance to see each other and resolve this.  She's one of my best friends and one of my maids of honor for my wedding.  It would be a shame if this causes us any more grief.  However, I realize I am seeing things differently than I used to.  I'm happy about my life changes, but I do realize that often it's weird for people who have known me for a while, (especially through the really bad times) to see a change in me.  I mean, I am not only changing from the outside, I'm changing on the inside.  Cheesy-sounding, I know, but I'm really happy with who I'm becoming.  And I'm really proud.

When I was at Act One, I realized how frustrated I was all the time.  I was sad and angry and anxious.  I was never content with myself.  I thought the world was against me and I had limited time to reach my goals or I would be a failure.  I saw myself as the one with the most experience and the oldest and it scared me how shameful I felt being back in school.  I thought there was something wrong with me.

I don't feel that way anymore.  I made some big decisions upon leaving school and it's never too late to change your life, I feel.  So, here I am.  I'm changing it.  And I feel great about my choices.  It's always a journey and a process.

Today's Goal: Back on the workout track!

Tomorrow's Goal: be careful eating at Mom's for dinner

Calories Consumed: 1090

Workout:
       Cardio:
           42 minutes
          (1 - 10 minute sprint; 5- 1 minute skaters)
           8 minutes cool-down/stretch

      Strength Training:
           30 push-ups
           50 back rows (15 lbs each hand)
           50 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
           50 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand)
           50 chest flies (12 lbs each hand)
           50 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand)

Day 1 - how daunting...

Monday, November 23, 2009

What is the purpose of this blog? Well, I've struggled with my weight since I was 9 years old.

I'm tired of the excuses. Today is a brand new day. And I like me more today than I have in the past. And I plan to like me better in the future than I do today.

I'm getting married to the most wonderful man in June, 2010. And I've been cast as a supporting role in an independent feature film which starts shooting this winter (Jan. 2010).

...and I'm probably, at least, 20 pounds away from my "ideal" weight.

Ok...what does "ideal" mean? Well, according to every website/book/magazine I've read about BMI's and height and so forth, I should weigh about 20 pounds LESS than I do, currently, in order to be in a good place.

Yes. I know. The scale is not my only guide. Trust me. I lost this weight and was about 20 pounds from where I am now and I looked great, but I wasn't toned. I took over-the-counter weight pills (they no longer exist) and just watched the pounds melt away. I also found myself irritable and jittery. But I looked great in my jeans.

This time I plan to do everything naturally and correctly. Watching everything I put in my mouth (and writing it down!) and making sure I'm weight-training and getting in some cardio.

For me, the number on the scale is something I'm forced to put on my resume. So, it's an important number to know but not necessarily one I'll completely focus on.

Size does matter. In clothes, that is. I was wearing a size 2, at my lowest. I'm not there now. No way. But today, I am on my way.

I have a few goals set up. I want to lose 10 pounds before the first day of shooting. That will be 2 whole sizes for my 5'2" frame.
My first day in front of the camera is January 17, 2010. That means I have less than 8 weeks to lose 10 pounds. I'm sure it seems "totally doable". I know people tend to lose a pound a week and more! I have to say, for me, it's really difficult to lose weight. I have been at the same weight (fluctuating up 2 pounds and down 2 pounds) since January 2009. I have had a very difficult time breaking the plateau.

I plan to hit this goal and keep losing as we continue shooting.

By June 19, 2010, I plan to be down another 10 pounds. I would love to walk down the aisle having accomplished this goal. But, my journey does NOT end there. I plan to stay fit and maintain and tone up. It's my goal to be as healthy as I can be and still find the balance in my life.

I plan to weigh myself in on Fridays. Why Fridays? I don't know. Just feels like the right day for it.

There it is: My process.

Calories consumed today: 1,156

Workout: 50 biceps curls (8 lbs), 50 triceps extensions (8 lbs), 50 shoulder presses (5 lbs), 50 chest flies (8 lbs)
10 minutes of cardio