Day 43 - Fatigue and Breathing

Monday, January 4, 2010

So today just felt like a day of failure.  I know it wasn't that bad but it sure felt like it.  I was exhausted at work and felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything.  I kept getting phone calls and getting caught in situations I am not equipped to handle and feeling like a jerk because I had to continually say, "I'm sorry but Paul will be back in the office on Monday, January 11th. He will be able to help you then". 

Nothing frustrates me more than not having answers or a resource for my answers when working in a job.  I love the alone-factor except when I don't have anyone to call in case of a situation I can't readily deal with.  I do have a supervisor and he's really nice, but he doesn't know the ins and outs of the job so he can't easily assist me on most things.  I've found myself having to bother Paul in Poland while he's on vacation way more than I ever wanted to. 

By the time Jon Wolter showed up, (he gets off at 4:30 and this office is in walking distance to his office so I give him a ride home), I was absolutely ready to get out of dodge. 

I was actually looking forward to and dreading my pending workout.

Looking forward to it because:

• I often get a nice boost of energy once I begin
• I was planning on watching the West Wing while doing cardio (yay)
• It wasn't being at work!

Dreading it because:

• I was completely exhausted
• It's a WORKOUT - it's not usually altogether the most fun time I've had
• It's a mental game - and that is also exhausting
• It's nearly impossible to workout at home and not notice how cluttered our apartment is

I turned on the West Wing and began the cardio, like normal.  But nothing, I mean NOTHING I did was making this workout happen for me.  I was running slower, I was mentally not there.  I tried gearing myself up, I tried infusing push-ups in the middle of the cardio to give me some sweat and a boost, change it up.  Nope.  By the time I hit 30 minutes I knew I had very little left in me.  I eked out 35 minutes and I had had it.  So I ended the workout.

I did stretch and cool down.  I was definitely feeling disappointed in myself but, seriously, my body was telling me, "This is all I've got today.  I'll give you what I have when I have it.  This is what you get today.  Put me to bed soon, please."

I decided to just breathe.

Recently I've increasingly become interested in the different types of meditation.  I have a brain that doesn't shut up or quiet down, easily.  So usually a guided meditation is a better type for me.  However, I decided to take 2 minutes and just breathe.  I sat on the floor, closed my eyes and breathed.  It was quite refreshing, although my brain wouldn't keep still.  I concentrated on my breath and just focused on relaxing my muscles and feeling the stress drain away.

It was lovely.  I finished up by doing 1/2 of the abs I normally do and just didn't even consider the legs.  Once done, I crawled into a bath and Jon was making dinner.  I got out and we watched one of my new favorite shows, Men of a Certain Age on TNT.  There were a few Rocky references in the show and with one of them they show a similar image from the film where Rocky is standing with his arms up in the air. 

I realized, tomorrow will be a better day.

Today's Goal: drink 80 oz of water = FAIL (I drank 60 oz )

Tomorrow's Goal: drink 80 oz of water. Yup I'm throwing it back in there.  Tomorrow is a different day.

Calories Consumed: 1192

Workout:
        Cardio: 
             3 minutes warm-up
             35 minute jog/run/skaters
            (3 - 1 minute sprints)
             8 minutes cool down stretch

        Strength Training:
             100 push ups
             50 regular crunches
             50 reverse crunches
             50 oblique crunches (each side)