Day 38 - Energy and Competition

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

So today I rolled out of bed with minutes to spare to get to work.  I don't know how it happened!  Thank goodness I'd packed my lunch the day before because I needed any extra moments to feed the dog and grab my stuff together before nearly being late. 

As it happened, I forgot to bring utensils for my lunch and snacks.  This wasn't as awful as it could have been since Jon'd made these personal gluten-free 8" pizza's last night.  I ate 1/2 of mine, thinking I'd bring the other half for lunch.  This was, essentially, finger food so that wasn't too bad.  I just couldn't eat my greenbeans nor could I eat the veggie casserole.  Thankfully I had 2 oranges.  Ah!  Food you can eat with your hands, solely!

It sufficed. 

I drank a ton of water today too.  80 oz!! :)

So, my energy has been sort of blech lately.  I don't drink coffee and I really try to eat clean, healthy food, but for some reason I'm not feeling the pep.  Although, I feel less "sluggish" than when I wasn't watching my portions or eating anything I wanted.   So I'm not sure if its too little on calories or too little on protein or something.  I'm just not certain where it lies.  It's like I have to "rev up" to do my workouts.  And I do get them done, they just feel like they are often endless!

I have noticed when I am in a competition, I will try and do my best to win.  Especially if I enjoy the activity or enjoy the "battle".  A good example of this would be the game Cribbage.  I like that game. I like games in general.  However, I think because it's just for fun, I don't get emotionally involved.  I used to.  But, what irks me is the competitive nature of some of my friends.  I find it can get in the way of my journey.  I'm fairly supportive of someone when they are trying to accomplish something.  I send out love and strength and kind words.  However, I'm noticing there are people who are incredibly supportive and I really thank them for their awesome words of encouragement.  They mean THE WORLD to me. But others have made less-than-supportive comments like, "Oh now, why would you need to lose weight"?  Or, "Don't become anorexic!" Or, "Don't make me pig out alone!" Sometimes they just press me for information (like wanting to know the number of my actual weight), which make my instincts perk up and ask why they want to know?  Why is that particular information relevant?

Now, I don't want to say these people are all toxic or bad. I think I've gotten rid of those types of people long ago.  But as far as feeling comfortable with disclosure on information or process or what have you, I find I'm playing close to the vest. 

Upon discussing the idea of competition, I notice these people to be proud of their competitive nature.  And I think some competition is healthy.  Some. I think some competition is destructive.  I don't want to feel compelled to compare weight/size/calories.  I think it breeds a bad ground for support and love.  Can't we all just agree we're on our own journey?  It's not about who got there first but that we all get there at our own time?

I know I'm unique in that I'm blogging, daily, about this approach.  I guess, along with the personal demons I face I also have to learn how to handle the other people in my life.

The one thing about getting involved with the self, is it makes it easy to not make time for everyone else.  That was my modus operandi.  But, balance is the key.  Time for me AND time for others. 

I know I'll accomplish this.  It just feels awkward so far.  Sort of like a puppy with big feet trying to negotiate walking/running.

On the really plus side:  I moved to doing 12 lbs each hand for all my leg squats!! :)

Today's Goal: Get back in the workout routine = SUCCESS!

Tomorrow's Goal: Do three 2 minute sprints for cardio

Calories Consumed:  1148

Workout:
         Cardio:
              3 minutes warm up
              42 minutes jog/run/kick/invis.jump rope
              (4- 2 minute sprints)
              8 minutes cool down/stretch

        Strength Training:
               50 push ups
               Slim in 6pack abs routine - 11 min
               100 regular squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 regular pulsed squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 plie squats (12 lbs each hand)
               100 pulsed plie squats (12 lbs each hand)