Everyone has been through shit:
As we went around the table I realized that my crazy "soap opera" story of how Jon and I met/got together/got accused of cheating/ etc. was par for the course. Every one had been through struggles and bad situations. No one's was "worse" than anyone else's and, funny enough, we all felt just as badly for each other.
Everyone has had success:
As much as we've all shown our scars, we've all experienced happiness! That was truly inspiring. Even through the crazy stuff, we've all survived and soldiered on. It was a beautiful thing to look around the table and realize I was happy! And by being happy I was relaxed and enjoying myself.
Everyone has dreams that never came true:
We've all come from the same place (our high school) where we were touted as the future of the arts. We had drive, ambition, high hopes, energy and endurance. We all thought if we worked hard enough, met the right people, put ourselves in the right place, we'd be "successful", or our idea of successful. It's amazing to see that all that still lies there, sometimes beneath, sometimes on the surface, but it's shifted. We all STILL have that same fire in our bellies, but maybe our dreams changed! And THAT'S OK! We're finding our path in a different way. AND THAT'S OK!
Everyone has an open and generous heart:
If I learned anything walking away from that breakfast, I realized that I know some amazing people in my life. These women are only the tip of the iceberg on the mountain of friends I know are in my court. I'm wealthy with love. And I know that I give it right back. The biggest impression these ladies made on me was realizing that, above all, I love their hearts and their souls. And I was lucky to sit in their presence and share in that love. Sounds corny, right? Well, yeah, maybe. Either way, I felt beautiful. And they were beautiful to me. And we were all glowing from the inside. That was pretty damned special. :)
On a food note, I was a little nervous about what to eat. I mean, essentially, restaurants are notorious for feeding people 3 servings PER PERSON. Sometimes more. I knew that I was going to have to decide to take home my food even before I ordered it.
And that's what I did.
I chose slightly more unhealthy than I would have at home, but nothing horrible. And considering I was eating smaller portions, I was proud of myself in my choices.
I ended up eating the 2nd serving for lunch and I now have that last serving for breakfast tomorrow!
Tonight was The Biggest Loser episode. I spent it working out and watching. It was a great episode. It reminded me of something.
I have a lot of trouble asking for help.
I think it stems from my not wanting to be a burden or seem weak. Seeming weak and/or lazy is a HUGE issue with me. Now, honestly, I don't know where the issue originated. Maybe someone called me that when I was really young, or I know how I judge people who I feel aren't making an effort. (I'm working on that judging thing too!) But, regardless, I never want to seem unable to handle things. Whatever that means. So...asking for help can be one of those things. Weakness. ICK.
However, I noted that I have publicly posted this blog! I've sent emails about it to people. I have, ASKED FOR HELP in supporting me on this journey!
Here's the amazing thing:
PEOPLE HAVE COME THROUGH!
I've gotten emails and facebook messages from you! You've been so helpful and wonderful and supportive! You've even told me it's inspiring! It's kept me going! HONEST! :)
So thank you!
Lesson learned: Asking for help isn't always seen as weak! :)
That makes me happy!
Today's Goal: Make a healthy choice at the mini-reunion = SUCCESS!
Tomorrow's Goal: Get at least 30 min. of cardio in (plus my weights)
Calories Consumed: 1068
Workout: 33 minutes of cardio (jogging/invisible jump rope), 75 back rows (15 lbs), 75 bicep curls (10 lbs), 75 tricep curls (10 lbs), 75 shoulder press (10 lbs), 75 chest flies (10 lbs)
AND: I've had 100 oz of water!!! Woo hoo!