Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 11 - Uneasy and the Dreaded Week 2

Thursday, December 3rd

So today I am totally exhausted! I thought I was tired yesterday. I was wrong. I can only imagine that my wonderful body is fighting off something. I have no real reason to be this exhausted so I will appreciate what my body is telling me and take today as my recovery day.

This scares me.

I HATE taking a recovery day. I feel like I'm "slacking off" or "falling into a bad habit". Now, I know it's necessary to take 1 day off a week. I know it's bad for my body and the weight loss to NOT take a day off. Yet, I can't get that stupid voice out of my head saying, "Don't be lazy, Ali. You should be working out right now. Come on, it's not that bad. You're not that tired! You barely did anything yesterday. You're pathetic". And so on.

So I'm trying to tell that voice to shut the hell up.

This is a constant battle with sleep, as well. When I was in school I kept telling myself that sleep was for the weak. The more I stayed up and studied the better I would be. I could be "the best that I could be" which, of course, was still never good enough for me. I was never satisfied with myself and my accomplishments.

Well, here I am. Feeling the same way with the same uneasy energy. So I'm changing my behavior. I'm going to tell myself that I deserve a day off. I need a day off. And I am WORTHY of a day off.

Me: Self?

Self: Yeah?

Me: I'm taking my recovery day today.

Self: Really?

Me: Yes. I get one recovery day a week and I need it today. So I'm taking it.

Self: Think that's such a good idea?

Me: Yes. Yes I do.

Self: Well, if that's what you think you should do...

Me: Yes. It is. I am worthy of this day off.

Self: Well, Me, I think you're right.

Me: Um, you do??

Self: Yes, Me. You've been working your butt off. There's no rule that says you should take your recovery day on a weekend or anything else. I know you. I trust you. You made sure the rest of the week was laid out in a way so you could take today off. So go for it. I support you, Me.

Me: Wow! Thanks Self. I feel so supported!

Self: Anytime, Me. Anytime.

Considering tomorrow is a weigh-in day this was definitely a risky choice. Also, this is the dreaded WEEK 2! Notoriously week 2 of a workout plan can be brutal. Often people lose very little (after a large loss the week before), or they stay the same or even gain! It can be very demoralizing. But, as we all know, the scale is not the only measure of success. In fact, I did some costume hunting yesterday for the film and I am consistently in a size smaller! So regardless of what the scale says, my body is shrinking!

Also, I have muscle definition in my arms! It's so cool to look at them! I love feeling the muscle and I can't wait until they get more defined! Yay!

Today's Goal: well it was to stretch after my work out... so I guess that's not yet a success

Tomorrow's Goal: Workout - (and then stretch!)

Calories Consumed: 870 (I know it's low. Remember I didn't burn any off today, though)

Workout: NONE - recovery day

Tomorrow is going to be a rough day.

First: Weigh-in!

Second: I have a memorial for my beloved teacher, Kristin Spangler who passed away from breast cancer. :( I plan to work out before this so I am not bursting into tears while trying to do invisible jump rope!

Third: Jon's company has their holiday party, so temptations will be at a high...

Lots of challenges tomorrow, but I'm up for it.

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