Day 91 - Wedding madness and bad dreams

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

So today my mom and I spent most of the day working on wedding stuff.  I think we finally got our invitations!  We have one more meeting with the vendor and then we are set to go.  This thing is really happening!

My heart hit my feet when they told us the invites need to go out on April 19th.  Ummm, THAT'S LIKE AROUND THE CORNER!  I feel like we've done NOTHING and have SOOOO much left to do before this wedding!

Breathe!!!

Anyhow, Carrie and I did some work on our home-business and then my mom and I started home from the suburbs.  In traffic.

It wasn't so bad but I was really happy I had worked out this morning!  It made it possible for me to not be so anxious while we were out.  I don't spend the whole day just hoping I'll have enough energy to workout when I get home after whatever is going on.  I love getting it done first thing!

Another reason for invitation anxiety is that at my previous non-wedding, my ex pulled his bullshit right as the invitations were hitting the calligrapher.  We had to literally THROW OUT all our invitations. Today was a reality moment that this thing is really happening. And it's a WONDERFUL thing.  :)

I'm sure all this ramping up to the wedding is helping my incredibly bad dreams I've been having about my ex and Jon's ex.  There's so much history and drama with them.  Jon's ex was supposed to be in my last wedding.  It makes for some bad feelings and ugly situations.  I hate that it manifests itself in my dreams.  My sleep is bad enough as it is, (we need a new mattress and we need new non-meth-addicted neighbors), so these dreams are just making it worse.

I feel like this will subside once we get past the 2 month mark.  Or at least when we are finally married.  Right?  I hope so!

Here's how today played out.

How do you deal with stressful dreams?

Calories Consumed: 1220

Workout:
       Cardio:
             3 minutes warm-up
             33 minutes
             (1 - 5 minute sprint)
             8 minutes cool down

     Strength Training:
            60 back rows (resistance bands)
            60 pulsed back rows (resistance bands)
            60 biceps curls (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 triceps curls (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 shoulder press (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)
            60 chest flies (12 lbs each hand for 10; 10 lbs each hand for 50)

Day 20 - Changes and Chanukkah shopping

Saturday, December 12, 2009

So today Jon and I had a TON of shopping to do for the family Chanukkah party scheduled for tomorrow morning. We ran around like crazy trying to fulfill the required list and had a pretty good time, considering the frustration factor!

Most wonderful, other than spending the day together, was getting to eat at Orange. I adore Orange. It is whimsical and fun and has amazing "frushi". (Fruit-sushi! A MUST try when visiting our fair windy city). I took home the bulk of my lunch expecting to eat it for dinner or breakfast/lunch on Monday.

Something was nagging at me most of the day. I'd had a dream the night before that wouldn't stop flashing in my mind:

I was invited to a very sparse OLD apartment by a friend. We were on a "break" from a seminar and were just looking for a place to rest before we had to be back in the main room. It was only too late that I realized my ex owned/lived in this place. While trying to make it as NOT awkward as possible when I saw him standing at an entrance that I didn't even

KNOW existed (you know how dreams are), holding a guitar (no clue why), I quickly got up and grabbed the bizarre project I was working on (with safety pins), and quickly fumbled my way out the door. On my strange jump down the steps I accidently jammed the pin into my thumb causing it to rip through the flesh. I was bleeding. A LOT. My friends, whom I'd been invited up to hang out, with had already gone back inside the seminar and I told them I'd catch them on the next break, but I needed to take care of this bleeding thumb. I searched for a sink, but the only one I KNEW of was the one in the weird apartment I'd been in for 2 hours. So back up the stairs I went hoping my ex would be gone. The door was cracked, I looked in and he was standing there naked (I only saw the side of him, but it was obvious he was not wearing clothes). So I walked quietly down the hall to a bench to wait until he left to go wash my thumb. He heard the floor boards creak and came busting out of the apartment with a towel on (thank goodness) and demanded: "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

I tried to respond and he cuts me off: "NO! GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE!" I show him my thumb and say, "I'm just looking for a sink to wash my thumb! As you can see it's bleeding!"

He says, "I DON'T F***ING CARE!" And then I woke up before I could retort.

It was weird.

When I have dreams about him, he's almost ALWAYS the sweetest, nicest guy. Proving he's changed and a better person. Or something. In this dream, I pretty much believe that's what would happen if he saw me today.

While I'm not sure why I had this dream or what it actually represents, I'm hoping my brain is taking the side of, "You made the right choice walking away", or something. Maybe the changes I'm making in my body are also, finally, working their way into my brain.

Or maybe I'm just afraid to awkwardly run into my ex.

Today's Goal: Make a healthy choice at lunch = SUCCESS!

Take my multi-vitamin = FAIL! I can't believe I forgot to take it!

Tomorrow's Goal: Try to get some cardio in (long long day tomorrow)

Take the multi-vitamin!!!

Calories Consumed: 881

Workout:

Cardio:

3 minute warm-up

45 minute (jog/run)

4 minute sprints (invisible jump rope)

3 minute cool-down

3 minute stretch

Strength Training:

100 regular crunches

100 reverse crunches

100 oblique crunches

4 rounds of Pilates 100

100 regular squats (10 lbs)

100 regular pulsed squats (10 lbs)

100 plie squats (10 lbs)

100 plie pulsed squats (10 lbs)